meanwhile i keep dancing

2007-05-17T20:22:00.000-05:00

The Tempest: I am SO PROUD of this show!

The final show of the Gustavus season, as well as a huge alumni reunion to celebrate 75 years of Theatre at the college, and the retirement of a legendary theatre professor, Rob Gardner. Amy Seham directed, the set was student designed by Melissa Friebe, and lighting was designed by Sarah Leigh. I designed the costumes, and alum Jenny Kelly returned to do make up and hair. She also took these fabulous photographs.

Miranda (Emily Coussens) listens to Prosperpo (Rob Gardner) tell their history.
The island world belongs to Caliban (Brian Evans), and includes Ariel (Alissa Paris Gilbert, with Ferdinand, Matt Dittes).

and a world of Spirits who were the island, harnessed into performing Prospero and Ariel's magic:

The court world, guilty or complicit in Prospero's expulsion from Milan by his usurping brother, are stranded on the island by the Tempest. Here, that brother, Antonio (Evan Hilsabeck) wakes regicide in Sebastian (Adam Butler)....
The court world also inlcudes Trinculo the court fool (Marlinda Tyson) and Sebastian the drunken butler (Michael J Sielaff), who meet Caliban are led around the island... Caliban leads them to kill Prospero, and everyone gets drunk:

Prospero, who knows everything on the island, leads the court through trials with the help of Ariel -- the Harpy calls King Alonso, Sebastian, and Antonis "three men of sin" ...this was an awesome effect with the spirits as wings and a beak...

and perhaps my favorite shot of the show.... Ariel runs up the vaum on this huge root to the sound of a Harpy scream. It gives you goose bumps.

2007-03-20T19:05:00.000-05:00

it may be the airport, but it's still stunning. This view from the end of a five day stint in Phoenix, and the USITT conference.
It was a really rewarding trip... a lot of people from the U of I, and from Santa Clara... many interesting things learned, and almost enough sun soaked up.

2007-03-12T21:31:00.000-05:00

at long last a photo post...

The first year at Gustavus is a good one. We've opened two of three theatre productions for the year, and the dance concert this past weekend. It's a good place to be.
Jacob's been here since September, our 2 bedroom apartment in the southwest suburb of Prior Lake is cozy. He's on tour as a sound engineer right now, and I'm headed to Phoenix for the rest of the week to attend the USITT conference and see many friends and teachers and colleagues and be in 90 degree weather. So we're busy and life is good, better still with the thaw this week.

It's kind of a "Christmas card" summary, but it's been a long time, and this way you've missed the constant weather report of last winter (seriously, thought, 11 days in a row with temperatures below zero will mess with your morale...but two snowstorms in a week will result in two snow days and a snow angel in our backyard will brighten the landscape significantly)... no pictures of the snowstorm (or the snow up over the seat of a deck chair on our back deck for two or three days), but the icicles on the front side of the house were documented

the water ran down the icicles so slowly that they formed like flat ribbons of pulled taffy... then when they started melting and the water ran faster, they looked like stalactites. It was pretty awesome.

This is the Anderson Theatre Stage, our 300 seat, 3/4 thrust space. We have a tiny black box too

My costume shop, out of focus and messy looking....which likely surprises no one. That's a Tempest idea on the dress form.

a Cherry Orchard dress, which I designed and patterned. My gracious predecessor came back to help, she did all the velvet bias cut trim... The blouse fabric came from Berkeley, and the suit wool from SR Harris here in Minneapolis. (Pattern based on one from Truly Victorian, which is a company I recommend heartily)

the supply cabinet and the record collection that came with the shop

At Gustavus there's a January term, which is an intensive course --in our case a production. These are photos from The Cherry Orchard... it was the final directing project for a faculty director who is retiring after 36 years of shaping the department. He brought back alumni from across the country to act with students in the production.

(no... that mustache didn't stay...)

The matriarch's brother, Gaev, was played by Peter Breitmayer ...on the left is Tasha Carlson, as Anya, and on the right, Taylor Granlund as Varya. Anya's totally amazing wig was fronted by Heather Fleming. It is so great to be able to connect with classmates and friends from grad school as problem solvers and professional connections.

Alum Alissa Pritchett played th eccentric governess, Charlotta... For those of you who think like this, this is that totally awesome Folkwear Pattern for a Big Sky Riding skirt that buttons open to be pants (complicated...not really recommended for beginners or people who don't have a lot of time to figure out what they really mean)

The aged Firs, the manservant who did not consent to the emancipation... the singularly phenomenal Kevin Kling ...an honor and a priviledge to work with this man. The hair and makeup for the show was done by alumni Jenny Kelly
The set was white carpet... the cherry trees were real trees (cut down on campus in the fall for stadium construction), painted white, with paper leaves. The student lighting designer did an outstanding job with this palette...
Karen Esbjornson as the impenetrably graceful Lyubov, pleading for mercy and understanding from Trofimov, the perpetual student (Dan Jackson... I shaved that baldspot on the back of his head) ...this ballgown is another design and pattern that I'm especially pleased with.

The first show of the season was An Experiment with an Air Pump, a play taking place in 1799 and 1999, with the same actors in both stories.

It's a great play for a liberal arts college... ethical questions about how far science can go and how to consider consequences, humor and wit, great language, and an allegory about Britain and industry. And, you know, challenges like "how to make a chimney smoke for exactly 20 seconds so it goes out on cue" (THANK you, helpful helpful playwright!)

I'll finish off with a Prospero and a Miranda rendering for The Tempest, our final show of the season, running the weekend of Mother's Day... thanks for looking, and for being patient with the long delay in posts... be in touch!

the library

2006-07-20T14:52:00.000-05:00

the new central library in minneapolis rocks.
so yes, i'm back in the cities, trying to get organized to head up to l'homme dieu for GODSPELL on saturday, and trying to get things done for a curriculum/season meeting at gustavus adolphus tomorrow.
it's really good to be back in my neighborhood, i'm sad that i'll be moving out of it the end of august, but looking forward to a new environment where i can do good work at this new job. jacob's still looking for work up here, and i'm still looking for that said environment (apartment hunting can be such a pain), so we can both use your good thoughts about any of that....
not much else new to post. pray for peace, and work for it too

hailstorm

2006-06-25T16:02:00.000-05:00

yesterday after work we had the most incredible weather i think i've ever seen.
the view from our balcony is of the mountains, i don't really know how many miles away... and i looked out to see that the eastern-most ones were gone, just enveloped in some kind of fog or something. you couldn't even see the streaks associated with a far off rainstorm.
fifteen minutes later, hail the size of golfballs started falling. then it wasn't so much falling as it was hurling horizontally at our balcony sliding glass door...and the wind was sucking the leaves upward. the lightening was like flashes, it was kind of like being inside a bag of microwave popcorn while it was popping. the water started to run down the hills so fast and rushing that it went up and over car wheels and completely swelled over the gutters. my ears popped from the pressure at one point. i read in the paper today that the temperature dropped to 39 degrees during the storm.
the whole thing lasted about half an hour, and it took several hours for the gutters in our townhouse complex to stop gushing water.
at 9pm we went up the hill to get ice cream, at this place called glacier that is just amazing. i had chocolate caliente, which had this slightly sweet chile smokey aftertaste, and a strawberry ice cream with balsamic vinegar in it that made the strawberry flavor so intense. as we walked up the hill, the sidewalks were covered in shredded leaves...the trees had lost a third of their leaves, and the smell of fresh cut green was incredibly strong.
the screen door on our balcony is torn, i think it's the only one of the pictures i took which came out at all.... we saved some hail in a container in our freezer...
here are some photos...

so this is out of focus, clearly (ha!), but what appears to be snow or blossoms, is actually the hail, and beyond that the gutters are flooding

from the front door of our apartment, as the intensity of the hurling hailstones had passed and we were all starting to peak out and figure out what had happened

the balcony across the courtyard from us (i'd say these are the noisemakers, but really let's not limit the rest of our neighbor's abilities to be pains in the ass)

looking down in the courtyard (the red party cup gives an excellent sense of scale, and is sooo telling of the things i hate about living in this complex!)

this is the table on our balcony, these are tiny bits of hail compared to what smacked the window and the screen so hard that it broke:

postcards from boulder

2006-06-15T22:43:00.000-05:00

sunset from the balcony of our townhome!
the daylight ones are from a sunday afternoon drive...
i don't know why they're all out of order... peace

BOULDER...and BIGGER NEWS

2006-05-26T22:38:00.000-05:00

i can't believe how long it's been since i've posted, and how quickly that time went past...
i too forgot my password to this thing!

arrived in boulder yesterday after a languid road trip, full of good times. met robin's baby alexandra, saw erika and marie and steve in chicago; hung out with matt, mati, and nick in urbana, punctuated by siam terrace and beet chips at crane alley --and the next morning brunch at radio maria in champaign with todd. yum. ... st.louis was a blur of good food and amazing glass (pictures to follow, from jacob's camera, my battery's dead and charger in mpls)...met kell and passed a lovely afternoon with tara in blue springs, followed by a super two nights with aimee and travis...strolling the downtown of manhattan kansas.
got here yesterday, and today was the first day in the shop. feels good, solid. like the vibe of the folks i've been introduced to, very happy to be with becca in a townhouse.
i'm going to learn a lot this summer. right now it's a little like looking into a big, vast.....thing but you don't know what you're supposed to see. it'll be great.

the biggest news EVER POSTED ON THIS BLOG is that i have a new job in minnesota when the summer's over.
last week i was hired at gustavus adolphus college to be the costume shop manager, the resident designer, and to teach one course in the fall. it's a year's position, and i hope i'll get to stay on a few years as it seems like a good, focused, centered place, and one where i can develop as a professor while i help develop their department. i wish i'd had the time to post during the week i got the job --i was so much less saturated and practiced at talking about it for those first days... kept waiting for some other shoe to drop. a solid job, with benefits and a retirement plan. stability with so much going on everyday that i can't imagine being bored. i may not love every day of it, but i won't be bored. and right now, i think i *will* love every day of it.

ok,
photos from the chihuly exhibit (at the missouri botanical gardens, thru Oct 31st... check it out if you can!!!)

new work

2006-04-13T11:31:00.000-05:00

on tuesday i'm starting a stitching job at the channhassen theatre, which should rock.
40 hours a week at a decent wage (a little more than i'd gone in expecting, actually), working on SINGING IN THE RAIN...fun little 20's and 30's numbers, working from renderings, taking pieces and making something whole, making the magic, wholly better for me than a lot of other things i've been doing for income outside of design. work to keep me busy until i leave for colorado may 19.
for now... working on a few home projects i'd been pokey about but now must get in order before starting a full time gig (with a 45 min each way commute), and i'm off to galesburg to spend easter with jacob and his family...hoooray!

sweet! CROCUSES! CROCI??

2006-04-06T11:27:00.000-05:00

i don't know what the plural of crocus is, but having returned from a week in temperate, green and blooming st. louis and louisville, i returned reluctantly to the frozen north to discover that IT'S NOT FROZEN ANYMORE! i'm actually a little disappointed that i wasn't here when the first little purple something peaked out of the dirt, but coming home to an entire side yard covered in it was really not bad at all. the lakes are melting too, at least the little one (probably a pond, not really clear on that definition) in loring park is thawed.
the conference was a lot to take in, and although overall the trip was not the restorative miracle i was hoping for, a sharp break from the insanity of march was very necessary, and i'm never happier than to come up for air with jacob.
now it's just one show before i leave mid-may, and sorting through the strikes of the last shows, and making baby quilts for friends. and hopefully feeling less strapped in general.
hope all is well with all of you.....

A PIECE OF MY HEART

2006-03-16T11:51:00.000-06:00

here are pictures of Shirley Lauro's A PIECE OF MY HEART, produced at the playwright's center by theatre unbound.
based on a book by the same title, it's the story of women in vietnam, and the playwright was there opening night --called it one of the most moving producitons she's seen (also said in a post show talk that since 9/11 this is the third most requested show from samuel french).... at the end, i've posted a review that i couldn't find a link to.
it's two army nurses, a navy nurse, a red cross donught dolly, an army intelligence officer, and a USO girl (and one talented man who plays all the GIs, officers, and civilian men they come in contact with). the first act is how they got there, and their experiences in vietnam, and the second act deals with coming back and re-aclimating. it's bookended by them attending the dedication of the wall
it was set in the round, with platforms that had images from the war on them...with puzzle pieces missing. theatre in the round is an intense experience, and especially beautiful in this case, when on opening night there were so many veteran's there whose reactions became a part of the experience.

at The Wall Ceremony

the last image of the play, finally recognized and welcomed home

Mary Jo Kincaid, lead singer of the Sugar Candies All Girl Band, on the last night in SF before the USO tour

singing the Air Force song on the flight into Vietnam ("we'll live in fame, or go down in flames..."

a Head Nurse describes the series of Quanset Huts set up for the hospital

a series of descriptions and reactions to Tet:

they form intense personal relationships...

and they have good times too...

Mary Jo and the "Sugar Candies" performing "Proud Mary" for a group of Marines... you can see how the other actors flow in and out of supporting roles, it's an interesting challenge for costumes.

and then they come home to another life, and other expectations

The Sugar Candies are told by their agent that he can barely reimburse them for airfare, never mind the $1,000 a month they were promised

"in Vietnam, I was treated different, trusted." Martha and Leeann discuss the treatment they get in hospitals stateside, not being allowed to hang an IV, being trained in CPR

Leeann is met at the airport by a Gold Star father, who lost his only son in Nam and meets incoming flights to help returning vets make their planes. (if you think that's my dad's windbreaker, you're right)

Martha's army father assumes she'll stay in the Navy for the benefits and a career...she's unsure

they find therapy groups, ways to talk about things no one understands...they respond to commute traffic helicopters, the color khaki green, christmas songs...nothing is the same for them.

Review from Matthew Everett

Review - A Piece of My Heart
Filed under 5 Star Shows - Best I've Seen

They have plenty of Kleenex on hand in the lobby at Theatre Unbound's
production of Shirley Lauro's testament to women caught up in the Vietnam
War, A Piece of My Heart. And by the time the play is done, those tissues
are needed.

A sensitive acquaintance of mine had to leave at intermission - even though
the part of the play dealing directly with the war was over, and the
characters were headed back home. He's a gentle soul, and the first half of
the piece was powerful enough that he had to step away and process it all.

The playwright herself, in town for opening night, described this
presentation as "one of the top regional productions I have seen." A Tony
and Drama Desk Award nominee, produced both around the country and around
the world, Ms. Lauro's seen quite a bit of her work on stage.

There's a reason for these strong reactions. This is a powerful production
of an equally powerful play.

Inspired by the book by Keith Walker, A Piece of My Heart follows the
journeys of six women into the war - four as nurses, one as an intelligence
officer, one as an entertainer - and back out again.

This was in a time before the notion of "support the troops," whether or not
you agreed with the war itself, was not commonplace. The great crime is that
even after surviving a harrowing tour of duty in Vietnam, just like the
soldiers, when these women came home, they were still not safe. The first
peril was physical, the second and more long-lasting trouble, which followed
them home, was psychological.

It is strange to say - or perhaps good to say - but no one performance in A
Piece of My Heart stands out, apart from the others. The stories, and the
performances, are all interwoven, though they each travel very different
paths. This is truly an ensemble effort. It is the collective weight of
these six stories that packs an emotional punch. This group effort is the
commendable work of both the cast and the guidance of their director, Maggie
Bearmon Pistner.

There is the military brat (Beth Chaplin) who followed in her father's
footsteps and lived to regret it. There is the singer (Mary Jo) who gets a
lot more than she bargained for when she goes to entertain the troops. There
is the small town girl (Anna Olson) who just wants to get out and see the
world. There is the intelligence officer (Lori M. Neal) who has her valuable
insights devalued because she is a woman. There is a well-bred young woman
(Angela Marsh) who volunteers with the Red Cross in order to change her
sheltered existence. And there is the Asian-American pacifist (Sophronia
Liu), in search of a place where the majority of the other people look like
her for a change.

All of these women find what they're looking for, but it comes at a high
price. It is only by coming together again, and reopening the old wounds,
that they can begin to heal, and make something of their shattered lives.

This is strong stuff, but worth it.

The set (by Mark Koski), props (by Roxanne Skarphol) costumes (by Andrea M.
Gross) and sound (by Montana Johnson) are all deceptively simple. The stage
is a series of small platforms of different heights with spaces in between.
On the surface of the platforms are old military posters and other artwork,
broken down into puzzle piece form, always with a couple of pieces missing
or misplaced. The props are few. The clothes offer only a couple of
different looks. From this most basic of foundations, the cast creates
multiple characters (many supporting roles surrounding the primary ones) and
multiple locations over time. Fully engaging the audience's imagination with
these raw materials, the production works its considerable magic.

Mention also needs to be made of Edward Linder who plays all the men - and
there are many of them - that pass through the lives of these women before,
during and after the war. Keeping the many soldiers and civilians from not
blending together is tricky work, and he handles it well.

There's not a weak link in the bunch.

In a time when our country is once again questioning the motives and tactics
of a war in another part of the world, this production is especially timely.
But even if we weren't in such a time, this play would still resonate. In
order to avoid making the same mistakes again, we need to see them clearly.

Shirley Lauro's play, and Theatre Unbound's staging of it, show us a
troubled time without flinching. It's the kind of thing that a live
connection with an audience does best.

Highly recommended.

A Piece of My Heart runs through March 18, 2006. All performances are at The
Playwrights' Center - 2301 Franklin Avenue East, Minneapolis Tickets are $16
- Discounts for students, seniors, veteran/active military & groups - Info:
www.theatreunbound.com - Reservations: 612-721-1186

SNOWDAY!

2006-03-13T12:56:00.000-06:00

so here's what it looked like at my house on monday... hasn't actually snowed since, but things are still kind of a mess. i mean, they have the snow thing figured out here, but it's still a lot of half melted crap everywhere.
show pics of A PIECE OF MY HEART still to come, but i'm out of time this morning... soon!

(that's ten inches of snow on my car... when i did leave, the space next to mine had been plowed, but it took me half an hour to get everything off my car. three cheers for myrtle the turtle and all wheel drive!!!!)

posted:

2006-03-01T10:30:00.000-06:00

i'm looking for flexible work again, the chinese restaraunt didn't pan out.

meh.

2006-02-26T13:41:00.000-06:00

the skies have been relatively blue, it hasn't been that cold, but i'm feeling burnt out the last two days, like i'd rather just hibernate. and i feel like there is SO much still to be done and dealt with in terms of the upcoming shows. A PIECE OF MY HEART dresses on tuesday, and is mostly assembled. the others are...nebulous.
the gig at the chinese restaurant's been good, i think it's going quite well, but the owner wants to talk to me (which i think is routine), and it's making me nervous. i'm terrified of having to search for another flexible job if this one doesn't pan out. so think good thoughts for me, i'll keep you posted...

working....too much, too little, and everywhere in between (also, SHOW PICS)

2006-02-14T09:43:00.000-06:00

i had a job, through the temp agency --finally!-- and it sucked. a lot. data entry on adoption records. one chair, one computer screen, eight hours. over a thousand cards entered a day, double entry (surname, surname, man's name, man's name, maiden name, maiden name, woman's name, woman's name)...the only thing remotely interesting is how obvious i thought it was that some guy at ellis island just made up how your name is spelled (atkins: a-t-k-i-n-s, a-d-k-i-n-s, a-i-t-k-i-n-s).... and that was the INTERESTING part.
however, i wasn't scrubbing toilets or flipping burgers, and i could appreciate that. i renewed my relationship with my iPod (tho it turns out dj spree is NOT conducive to repetitive spelling activities). i met some people i wouldn't have met otherwise (thinly veiled euphamism), and then on friday they found someone else to do the job. and i was relieved in some ways, but had hoped to find something else on my own first. however, the second of the two weeks i had this job was also tech for SCAPIN (photos below), which meant 8 hours of that, 2 hours to do 4-5 hours of work/errands, driving to st. paul for rehearsal and coming home at 11:30 to get up at 5:30 and start over. boooooo. no time to look for other work.
so that friday, after being told i'd been replaced, i came straight here to the coffee house and started checking craigslist. there's an upscale chinese restaraunt three blocks from my place looking for day shifts --i went straight there. grubby jeans, hat on my head (turns out this cute new haircut is more high maintnence than working that early in the morning would allow), no restaraunt experience. boom, here i am. had a good conversation with the woman chef/owner on friday and a great conversation with her on sunday. tonight and tomorrow nights i'll start training. it's minimum wage for 15-20 hours of training and then host starts at 8, plus the servers tip out to the cashier, host, and kitchen. could go up to 10-15.... i'm genuinely excited...the idea of making some one's meal experience pleasant and memorable is really attractive to me, and the owner (tammy) and i definitely got good impressions of each other. so that's cool.
AND NOW FOR THE REALLY EXCITING NEWS!!!
on wednesday night, the costume shop manager from colorado shakespeare called:
"andrea, it's lee dumbrowski, how are you?"
"(laugh) well, i have to be at dress rehearsal in 12 minutes and i haven't figured out what i'm eating for dinner yet"
"hahahah... i know how that goes"
so we talked on thursday morning and she gave me the weekend to consider her offer --monday morning i called back and confirmed that i will be the painter/dyer for the 2006 season at colorado. not the assistant, not the apprentice, THE painter/dyer. the season is THE TEMPEST, AS YOU LIKE IT, & MERCHANT OF VENICE. the designer for TEMPEST uses a lot of paint techniques for (i guess) texture and highlight and shadow, but lee assures me that she's very hands on and will demonstrate how do what she wants. the other two will be more straightforward (dyeing to match...which is actually rarely simple, making something purple that was red, etc).
i am very very very excited and thrilled and you get the idea. i've wanted to be in colorado since... i guess since i was in the rockies in 2003 with laurie and dave and their friends. ROADTRIP! BOULDER OR BUST!

here's some SCAPIN.... it's a great, timeless commedia story, modern translation of Moliere....
(apologies, apologies, now that i've got the whole thing loaded i realized you'll have to turn your head 90degrees because i didn't rotate the images. so sorry....if i go back and fix it now i'll never get the rest of my day done)

there are these two old tightwads, who each have a son and a servant (stay with me, here, Argante's family is in cool colors and Geronte's is in warm, you can't get lost)

and each of the sons loves a girl their fathers don't approve of....

Hyacinth (in brown, beloved of Octave, who turns out to be Geronte's daughter) and Zerbinette (in black, who turns out to be the long lost child of Argante)

so the servants, Scapin the schemer (in the brown) and Silvestre -not so bright, but easily beguiled into playing along (in the blue) embark on a big adventure of tricks and schemes (including putting one of the old men in a bag and beating him with nerf bats...it's priceless)

and, as "a comedy requires" it all ends well... couples married, Scapin married off to Hyacinth's serving woman
Nerine (who enters periodically as a mystery woman looking for "Signore Pandolfe"-- Geronte's alias), and the fathers happy.

Leandre the Scrub and Zerbinette the Gypsy Girl (mysterious and sexy Nerine in the background)

Octave the Stylish and his lovely Hyacinth

presto change-o

2006-02-04T18:52:00.000-06:00

YESTERDAY

TODAY!

not a rhetorical question. also, not a weather report

2006-01-29T11:17:00.000-06:00

(altought outside the window a small terrier just went by wearing booties).

ok, here's the question, for survey, debate, or conversation....
what's the deal with the pressure you put on yourself?

do you find yourself hung up about where you are with your life or what you're doing in a moment or a friendship, and upon further inspection discover that the only reason you're angsty is because of some internal expectation or pressure?
and when that happens, and you acknowledge that it's a pressure or expectation of your own making, does it go away? and if not, why not? how is it that acknowledgement isn't enough to bring peace?

thoughts?

la la la!

2006-01-25T15:37:00.000-06:00

the sun is out, the sky is blue, and i lied, the content of this blog apparently WILL be a weather report!
hahahahahahahaha!

coming down the pipe. or whatever

2006-01-20T10:07:00.000-06:00

someone once corrected me and said that that expression is actually "coming down the pike", but as i don't live in a place with turnpikes, and can't imagine what a large whitefish has to do with it, i'll go with my version.

by april 1st, i will have opened four shows and been to the usitt conference in louisville. i may have mentioned that before, but let me just say that now that i'm in the process, and facing 40hours/week of work from a temp agency (data entry, for an adoption agency, starting maybe monday), i'm ASTOUNDED by it. the truth of the matter (which seems a little more evident, and upbeat, today that yesterday, or more accurately in this moment than in the ones on either side), is that i just spend three years living a minimum of 70hours/week of work. and frankly, the thing that was hardest for me from august until now was the lack of structure and busy-ness in my life. so here i go.

it's hard to even remember the chipperness with which i reported blue skies when i returned --it's grey, grey, grey, and although i have nothing to really complain about at 22degrees and warmer (i mean, this is january in the frozen north, it could and probably will be MUCH worse), i have to say that the grey grey grey, i am over. as i type, literally, a bright spot beams through the clouds. this is what passes for sun at this time of the year. 10 am, and peeping over the roof top of the three story building across the street is spot bright enough to blind you momentarily if you get too greedy and look too closely, but not bright enough to actually impart a smile or any vitamins.

all in all, though, it's ok. i'm busy, which i crave, and the days fly by toward visits with jacob and spring time weather. it will all work itself out. the first show to open is SCAPIN, which will be fun, and then SLAG HEAP, A PIECE OF MY HEART, and TANGO. there may be fewer posts until this insanity is over, but hopefully there will be pictures soon. can't wait to show you my work... in spite of how busy i am, and the fabulous tourism promotion i've just done, you should come visit. it's a great town no matter what time of year.... =)

from blue skies to blue skies....

2006-01-09T14:02:00.000-06:00

from 50 degrees to 30...not that bad, all things considered.
from potholes to potholes and from too much going on to too much to do. and that's about where the similarities between california and minneapolis end...
it was a trip. a certifiable time...
thai food, good visits, shakin it in san jo and san francisco (peter's fabled pink lives up to its reputation for fine beats in a totally unpretentious atmosphere), christmas decorations, warm meals and great wine with friends from far and wide, RAIN, getting to show jacob my "natural habitat" (although it's been rightly stated that i don't have a natural habitat), the redwoods, the coast, the tidepools, the food, the reconnecting with long losts, the champagne toasts and new years kisses without the miles between, the arranging of sofa beds in the RAIN, the magic of sea ranch (where we're all adolescent, for better and worse, no matter how close to thirty we get), more thai food, bellying up to the bar at the peso drinking birthday jaeger with maya, willie brown at the globe and guiness creme brulee, pancakes and grilled cheese on a saturday....
happy new year

wrapping up

2005-12-13T13:24:00.000-06:00

man, it's like a vacuum in here. for weeks the hive activity of exams has made it hard to find a seat in this cafe, and almost harder to draw a deep breath. today they must all be in classrooms expelling their knowledge, as it's wide open and chatty in my neighborhood caffinated office.
i've been busy getting ready to come home california on thursday, but not nearly as busy as this time of year usually finds me. i've an interview tonight, and a production mtg i've been busily designing for tomorrow night. found a technique with photoshop that i love and am very excited about.
the weather's been warmer recently, today it was 31 when i got up so i walked to the post office instead of driving. it's a little less than an hour round trip, and it felt good to do something outside besides scrape off my car and get in it. we're supposed to get 10 inches of snow by friday, but as long as it doesn't interfere with my plane i don't care.
let it snow!
let blow!
i'm going home where my toes will be warm!
anybody need anything, want anything, remember something i told you i'd bring with me? better let me know fast and hope there's room for it in the as yet unpacked duffle bag....

and, it's BELOW ZERO

2005-12-06T11:48:00.000-06:00

at 11 am. with beautiful blue skies and lovely sunshine.
but none the less, it's below zero.

things are going reasonably well, a possible contract dispute is reportedly being worked out, and i'll be home for christmas soon. i mailed my applications to utah shakes and santa fe opera today, for summer employment. that at least makes me feel like i'm doing something for my self.
i have two shows lined up in the spring, one paying, one not (but so funny.... a modern translation of moliere's SCAPIN that is just clever and witty and rocks). and other than that i'm looking for income, trying to figure out what to do about the state of things here.
right now i think i'm placing unreasonable hope on the fact that when i come back in january the days won't be so short. yeah, that should fix everything.

CLOSE the SOA

2005-11-29T15:24:00.000-06:00

i hope everyone's holiday was sweet and happy, and travels were safe.
i've been on the road an unprecedented amount the past two weeks. i went to st. louis, and louisville, with jacob to his family for thanksgiving, which was great.
the weekend prior i rode on a bus to georgia and back with Veterans for Peace to protest at Ft. Benning, where the US Army spends your tax dollars to run a school for foreign military. the imperialist notions that everyone should be like us should be reason enough to shut the place down, but the methods of torture, intimidation, and murder taught there have led to it's nickname of the School of the Assassins. you've heard of this place and its works, even if you haven't known it. 900 dead in el mozote; 6 Jesuits, their housekeeper and her daughter executed at the University of Central America; 4 churchwomen raped and butchered (more, admitadly propaganda-ized, information here)

here are photos of my trip... it was moving, and envigorating, even in the face of the horror you're trying to extinguish.

we left at 9:30am on friday, from the veterans' hospital in minneapolis. it was a 26 hour bus ride each way.

sunset in illinois (above) and sunrise in alabama:

saturday is an all day rally at the gates of Ft. Benning, and sunday morning there is a solemn procession, with the known names of victims read, while protesters carry crosses bearing names.

an organization i am honored to have been affiliated with...

the main gate, a focal point of the protest in years past, was covered by the Army during the day on Friday in order to thwart the protester's attempts to re-assign value to its symbols (you'll see in a moment how that worked out for them):

these buddhist monks walked 150 miles from atlanta

emily saliers of the indigo girls

from our bus, the mother and sister of mary swenson, a founding activist in the movement to close the SOA, who died this year.... and below, people from our minneapolis bus wait for the funeral procession to begin

i don't know these people, but their cranes were so vibrant and intense

hear the music? "this little light of mine, i'm gonna let it shine..." these women are nuns and sisters from our bus, and we got good and warm in the early morning mist on sunday

signs from both days....

(local response, although generally supportive and welcoming, has also generated a counter-protest in recent years, called "God Bless Ft. Benning Day" --this was the rearranged sign we passed on sunday morning)

sunday morning's funeral march....this is what 19,000 activists looks like.

the procession is lead by pallbearers and a puppet

followed by a reading of the names of victims. the crowd raises their crosses and responds: "Presente!"

the procession leads to the gates, where the pallbearers have become victims

even shrowded in Army-issue brown plastic, the gate becomes a monument to loss and hope:

as an act of civil disobedience, some protesters who have prepared for civil action, and had to travel a ways from the main gate, crawl under the fence. military police waited for them, cuffed and removed them from the area... one of the most moving stories i heard was of a blind man who crossed the line and how gentle the mps were with him

first minnesota snow!

2005-11-16T15:29:00.000-06:00

yes, it's different than illinois snow. no, i'm not as excited about it as that exclamation point implies.
it snowed last night, and today it's twenty degrees with a stiff wind that must drop that figure significantly. my boots are warm, but also strange to walk and drive in as there's less ankle flexibility than...not wearing boots, i guess.
i've come to a new cafe today for internet access, the tea garden on hennepin, where there are indoor fountains on either side of the door bursting with fake lotuses and chrysanthemums. the tea is good, but the decor doesn't fool me, i know how cold it is out there.
to combat the cold (not really, i have better reasons) i've decided to go to georgia for the weekend, to participate in the protests there. i'll be gone from friday to monday, and turn around on tuesday to head to st. louis for a week over thanksgiving. two sets of travel, equally important emotionally but substantially different in content. it's recently occured to me that prior to grad school, there was more to my individuality than costume design (doesn't seem like much of an epiphany, but it was a pretty bright light to me) ...and as it's clear that i won't make a comfortable living off of design in this town this year, perhaps i can apply what my temp agency considers to be brilliant data entry abilities to an office i believe in. so i'm looking for paid (office type) work in the not-for-profit sector....suggestions would be welcome. i'm hoping the more than 24 hours of travel in a bus with the group Veterans for Peace will lead to some connections, whether profitable or otherwise. i'm looking forward to being able to meet people who will widen my experiences here in the cities.

ahhh, unemployment.

2005-11-13T15:51:00.000-06:00

well... it's getting colder and more blustery, but no snow yet. actually, right now it's very nice out.
the weather's conducive to curling up in my dad's armchair and reading, and i've started both a collection of Kate Chopin's short stories (which i'm re-reading), and a book i bought a year ago but was somehow not in the right headspace for until now, "The Business of Theatrical Design" ...i'm not so far into yet, but i'm finding it interesting and useful.
everyone seems to be slowing down just a little and we're all reconnecting with each other --last sunday i ate with lora and lacy at this totally awesome st. paul place called "mickey's diner" and last night katie, courtney and jon took me to cleaveland wok for chinese. i was expecting "good, considering it's buffet" and it was just plain awesome. outstanding potstickers and garlic green beans. it's been good to feel not so overwhelmed that i can't talk to or see anyone.
now i just need some income!
this business of finding a way to be comfortable in my skin and happy in my work continues...somedays the path seems a little better lit than others, but overall it's ok.
how are you?

signs that it's cold and will be colder...

2005-11-05T12:16:00.000-06:00

* squirrels have recently tripled in size. i swear i saw one take down a yorkshire terrier yesterday.
* you can see your breath until NOON (but you're so cool that you're still wearing a heavy sweater, scarf and cap, no coat)
* you can judge the hour by the shade and tone of the grey sky, you suddenly have the impression that you haven't seen any blue in days and days.
* it gets dark at five o'clock. (ok, not yet...the sun goes down at 5 though)
* you spend a pre-apportioned chunk of pay check on boots and do a little happy dance when zappos.com tells you you've been randomly selected for faster shipping.

ok, that list seems weak. i'll work on it. have to run now, but find some sunshine and send it to me!!!!

reviewed in CITYPAGES

2005-11-02T18:13:00.000-06:00

i think this review is pretty concise.... of course, they weren't wearing any clothes, nor were the scenery, lighting or props significant. but nonetheless, it's a review...

thanks for the support, again.

2005-11-01T17:13:00.000-06:00

yesterday i called opera theatre st.louis, and they have hired someone else for the position of costume design assistant. so someone else gets to go to st.louis and have my dream job....
on a brighter note, i got a parking space behind my building. so there you go.

phew.

2005-10-17T14:06:00.000-05:00

heard from blue cross blue shield on saturday.... after a long bureaucratic road, i have health insurance. so thanks for holding your breath, or praying, or crossing your fingers, or dancing over chicken bones for me. now i can start wading through the next level of tape, red and otherwise...

here: (it's a biggun)

2005-10-11T10:34:00.000-05:00

inspired by jenne's photographic chronicle of amsterdam, and the singularly outstanding weather on sunday, i bring you...my neighborhood:

this could be exciting!s

2005-10-07T11:48:00.000-05:00

i just had a phone call from the production manager at VEE corp ...they basically just keep a file of people they could overhire, and we set up a 9am tuesday appointment. i'm not going to assume anything, but just getting to tour the building when the portfolio showing is done will be worth the anxiety and excitement.
the table next to me is three young people cramming for a bartending final exam. it's taken me most of an hour to figure out what flash cards reading "donkey punch" and answers involving green onions could possibly be. it was the listing off of gins that finally explained it to me. the spyhouse rocks. yesterday the weather caused me to forgo nutrition in favor of a bagel and cream cheese and a drink called a mata hari --espresso, steamed milk, cinnamon, almond, and honey. oooeygooey goodness.
and speaking of weather, miss smarty pants lora feels that yesterday was lovely fall air. she might right ---from inside her climate controlled cubicile!!! it's 45* right now but feels like 41*, according to weather.com ....and it is beautiful, from inside the coffee house. bright blue skies, fun little cotton candy clouds. but i have to go stand in it for 8 hours starting at 3 (which means by the second show it'll be dark, and a whole lot colder!) and i'm not really looking forward to it. so there!

oh.

2005-10-06T15:09:00.000-05:00

THIS is what they mean by the artic air... i've been in fifty degrees before, and i was prepared for the fact that it wouldn't be like fifty at home, or even fifty in illinois. but this is insane. i hope the remainder of my posts until the summer aren't complaints about the cold. but DAMN.

why i'm the coolest girl you know...

2005-10-04T11:39:00.001-05:00

because last night i waited in line for four hours at a hiphop music store called the fifth element for a midnight cd release of atmosphere's "you can't imagine how much fun we're having" (check out both)
because it's signed, as slug and ant were sitting at a table by the cash register with sharpies.
it came with a called URB which i'm totally enjoying...and i picked up another one outside the store called mugshot (website currently under contstruction) --this is a super sweet layout of artists of all kinds, with relatively few ads and interesting write ups. i liked it a lot and if the dj/hiphop scene interests you, you should find it. it's free. can't beat that with a stick.

COSTUMERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!

2005-09-29T14:10:00.000-05:00

this was on the wall opposite my house door on monday morning. it's made my week.

losing my gruntles, learning new things, and searching to find my skin

2005-09-28T12:12:00.000-05:00

well now i've been spammed too. so i changed the settings on the comment page, hopefully no one else will try to sell me dating websites.
it's been a busy couple days, in tech rehearsal for BORDERTOWN CAFE a hundred miles south of here. i think i like my work, i really wish i could go back tonight or later in the week to see it more complete, but i have to work cirque shifts instead. i've done some cool distressing, learned some new models as well as new techniques... do you know what a farmer who's been combining looks like as opposed to one who's been in the dairy barn? yeah, me either, but the lighting designer's also a farmer, so that's been invaluable. baby oil is my new best friend, and anyone who's ever doubted the veracity of their teacher's warnings about how pervasive dye granuales are should (not) try to use Rit Dye in a kitchen trash can in their bathtub. not recommended, probably not healthy either, but i really had no choice that i could see. it's raining, i couldn't even do it outside. but successful. and if you're wondering, comet makes a no scratch bleach solution paste cleanser that's pretty good. between the dye and the bleach, i think i've had all the toxins i get for the week.
still waiting on word about the costume design assistant position at operatheatre of st.louis, but i did call them and learn that the process has been delayed (by the production mgr's honeymoon --at least it's a happy reason), and they'll know in two or three weeks...
what i really need to do is find a little more stability in myself to face where i am. it's where i wanted to be, but i'm so antsy and anxious that i can't seem to settle into my skin. i just want to be alright with myself in my space and don't understand why i'm having so much trouble with this. sometimes it makes me feel like i'm crazy. there's so much here to feel good about, and it seems like a lot of the time i'm worried about things i can't control or trying to predict the future instead of being in the moment. it frustrates me...

there's no place like home

2005-09-20T13:26:00.000-05:00

perfect album to listen to in a crowded airport terminal where there's been no electricity all morning? GREEN DAY'S AMERICAN IDIOT.
my long weekend in st.louis was divine --the botanical gardens are amazing, not to be missed if you have the chance. the zoo's great too, and it's free (as is the museum and other attractions in forest park), but even with the admission fee taken into account the gardens are well worth it. and you can see the top of jacob's building from inside! we walked through the zoo on saturday, they have an elephant who's expecting a baby any day now, and i saw my first anteater that i can remember... but my favorite are always the hippos. in st. louis they have a plexiglass portion to their environment, and you can watch them swim. we ate well, we usually do... fabulous pizza you should check out too should the opportunity present itself.
now i'm back at the spyhouse with hummus and pita. i have quite a shopping and distressing list before tech starts for BORDERTOWN CAFE on monday, and i finally got shifts with cirque (gate patrol, basically). so it looks like a busy time coming up. i'm glad for it.
here are a few more promised pictures:

HELLO DOLLY!

YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN

(look! his scarf was wired so he always appeared windswept)

(the costume shop built these dresses and painted all the trim on the shirts, the dots on sally's dress, the bow's on lucy's. and jacob made snoopy's tag for me...good to have a metal smith handy!)

...and HOME, in all senses of the word:

this is my workspace as seen from the living room (really one long space divided into one third workspace, two thirds living room. this photo taken from my futon. while sitting on the futon, if one turns to the left, the kitchen is visible:

from the palomarin trail on labor day:

at a loss.

2005-09-14T20:19:00.000-05:00

i had to say good bye to a friend today

COOL!

2005-09-10T11:50:00.000-05:00

ok... not sure i've grasped the labeling them part. but i'll see what i can do....
the lake pics are l'homme dieu...then the theatre up there, the lodge (meals, rehearsal, costume storage upstairs), the costume shop from the outside, and then some photos of THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK: Channaukah; Anne bored on the couch, being 13; and the entrance into the secret annex, introductions being performed. I'll get the HELLO DOLLY and YOU'RE A GOOD MAN CHARLIE BROWN in the right place so i can post those next. and i'll take some in my apartment tonight so i can show you that too!!! i'm really excited about this.

photo?

2005-09-10T11:46:00.000-05:00

i'm pretty sure i've finally figured this out.
and i'm definitly sure it's embarrassingly simple.
right.

i'm just gonna post this to see if it worked, and then i'll try again with more. it's my mom and me at minnehaha falls here in minneapolis.

a beautiful day to fly...

2005-09-01T13:54:00.000-05:00

it's windy and clear and 75 here in beautiful lake wobegon...no, wait, urban minneapolis.
according to northwest's website, my flight is on schedule. we'll see about that i suppose.
things are good here, i helped some friends paint and move yesterday, and am sloooowly getting things done in my own place. i'm actually out of space for things to go, so i'm glad to get away from the tile game (remember the car game when you were a kid, with one tile missing and you just had to push things around in the right way to make a picture?) for a couple days. maybe when i come home a solution will present itself. i've only got a few days to figure it out before people come over for a housewarming party (intentional deadline set by myself, otherwise i'd have lived half unpacked till christmas)....
anway...i feel like i had something to say but i don't remember what it was. so i'll go. =) have a good day, happy labor day, let me hear from you!

BOOM!

2005-08-26T16:44:00.000-05:00

thunder and lightening at five am....right on top of the house.
right on top of each other FLASHBANG! rumblerumble FLASHBANG!
the cat's still under the clawfoot tub, twelve hours later.
the bathroom cabinet from our backyard has "mysteriously" come in and is now on the floor at the bottom of the stairs to the second story. ie, right outside my kitchen door. whatever....

more neighborhood bla bla

2005-08-25T13:37:00.001-05:00

the bright yellow building kittycorner from the spyhouse, with the spanish banner for tarot readings and other spiritual services, has a toilet sitting on the lawn in front of it.
come to think of it, there was a bathroom mirror/medicine cabinet on the back lawn of my place last night... i wonder if some bathroom appliance fairy was flying low yesterday afternoon, dropping off needed items in yards that don't need them.
heh.

hip hip!

2005-08-20T14:44:00.000-05:00

three cheers for great theatre.
saw the guthrie's THE CONSTANT WIFE last night (kind thanks to zack for thinking of me when he was offered free tickets!), and it was awesome. a 1920's comedy about fidelity and the economic practicality of marriage, with a lot of well disguised politics to it, the more i think about it this morning. brilliantly paced and timed, really just classic. a great opening night for them, i hope it's a good run too....
to say that the production values at the guthrie are impressive would be, um, and understatement. i didn't love every choice the costume designer made, but the fabrics were delicious and even if it does betray my compulsive inability to drop the attention to things like this, they were beeautifully made. i don't, actually, usually look so acutely at construction, but the fabrication was undeniably stunning in this case....i think the whole show must have been built, it was that perfectly suited to the actors and the show, and the men's suits were at least as gorgeous as the women's clothes.
three cheers indeed!

query

2005-08-18T20:06:00.001-05:00

does anyone else find it... ironic, or somehow, um, fake, to watch a waiflike man with nearly blue pale skin, eyeliner, and shoulder length ink black hair get into a white mercedes hatchback kompressor and drive away from a coffe house?
YES, BOYS AND GIRLS, THE CYNICISM HAS RETURNED, rising in a phoenix-esque manner from the shores of last week's blind paralytic panic.
i'm at the spyhouse, eating a decadent almond croissant, (purchased from a girl with surface piercings on her forearms, walking gingerly as the tops of her feet are freshly tattoo'd) watching the zoo that is my neighborhood and loving it. as i told my mom the day i brought her back from the airport --where i live the punks are real. a few blocks over in gentrified uptown, they're a little affected. but here it's all real. as another thought about the neighborhood, i noticed the other day that with the few exceptions of small dogs, all the dogs i've seen in the neighborhood in a week and a half qualify as dangerous breeds. i'm not afraid, the sweetest, brightest dog i know is a pit named athena (but i have heard about the recent death in the sunset), i'm just surprised since so many ads i looked at specified no agressive breeds... it's interesting. i'm not generally prone to petting dogs i don't know anyway, but maybe it just adds to the edginess of the hood.
so as you can see, in addition to having found my sense of cynicism, i am also much more relaxed about the place i live. much of this could be attributed to the simple act (within half an hour of her arrival) of my mother finding the locking mechanism on my windows, so i don't feel unsafe leaving them open when i'm not there. i think the rest of it is just the comfort of mom... i was worried that moving is stressful and money is worse, but really we handled both of those things and nobody yelled or cried. mama makes all things manageable.
we went to ikea, i know it's stupid cookie cutter, but i don't care, it's also affordable and simple and i like what we found (a tall narrow bathroom cabinet we purchased and brought home, and a bookshelf that we didn't b/c it wouldn't fit in my car, as well as a super cool table that folds down to a 6" wide console when the leaves are down...which was out of stock. so i'll return with lora and her family's suv soon....) i have shopped and looked other places too, but money and time are of the essence ---the office portion of the living room remains a maze of boxes until i get more shelves to unload them into and make it a useful work space.
we went to alexandria for the weekend, stayed with the gracious godfather of theatre l'homme dieu, vern and his lovely wife paula. they have a great place on the lake, and took us out on their pontoon for my mom's birthday. she was enthralled and it was great. we went to the theatre campus, but it's very very strange when empty. first of all, it only takes 10 minutes to show the whole place. when it's full, with rehearsals going and lunch cooking and saws running and sewing machines humming, it's hard to get from one building to another with your train of thought intact. with no one there it seemed a little... little. but it's beautiful, which one sometimes overlooks during hive-time.
we had dinner at the black forest, a forty year old german restaraunt a block from my house (boasting, among others, a bill board that says: "non-germans find it excelllent. germans find it surprisinly adequate." my mom laughed heartily... also one that reads: "bring the kids. we serve brats.") she met courtney and katie there, friends from last summer's season... lora took us to minnehaha falls, which was beautiful, and we had lunch with kenzie and grant the other day...so she's met some folks, which was important to me too.
we did some math, which told us that on a very tight budget i can deal until something comes up that i can live with --i not only have great distaste for almost every job we've found in the star tribune, the citypages, and craigslist, i'm vastly underqualified for almost all of them. i need something, and soon, but at least i can spend a couple bucks at the grocery store and a couple bucks at the coffee house for internet access and be alright.
that's about all i have to say, but i did want to share one last thing.... http://www.taize.fr/
i was in taize for holy week the year i was in berlin. it was one of the most singular and communally beautiful weeks of my life, and this sentiment is no doubt being echoed in grief around the world this week. brother roger was a man of peace so profound it almost can't be described... his brothers and sisters must keenly feel his absence in taize, and millions around the world feel it quietly in their own way. peace be with you

warning

2005-08-09T14:34:00.000-05:00

that's all, just warning.
i don't know how to describe my mood or explain any of the thoughts i've had in the last 24 hours. i left l'homme dieu yesterday, with the last of my stuff and my cat (who's alternating between under the bathtub and under the work table, but has also been on the bed with me, and eaten a little....i'll take it.)
about here: it's hot. i have no money...due to my own failure to mail checks promptly and the u.s. mail's failure to deliver as expected, i'm actually overdrawn. the fact that i'm publishing that information on the internet should tell you a little about my state of mind.
overwhelmed.
a little anxious...even distantly frantic if that makes any sense.
totally unprepared for what it would feel like emotionally to be here, with an apartment, and a few possible design gigs on the horizon, but no actual income beyond my rent/health insurance fund. totally unprepared for the fact that living in a city would be scary to me. ME? i don't know what's wrong with me...if it's the isolation of the last two months up at the lake, or if i just don't remember what it took to adjust the other direction when i got to champaign-urbana....but i live on really busy streets. i feel like i can't safely leave my windows open when i'm not home. urbanites take themselves seriously, and i don't know if i'll really make friends or if i'll just have co-workers. suddenly the whole thing seems like it might have been a bad idea. should i have come home? should i have gone to chicago? i have no idea. i'm reasonably sure that no matter where i went after grad school there would be an adjustment period and it would be strange.
****WHOA, SIDENOTE: i'm sitting at the "famous" spyhouse coffehouse, which is in my backyard, to use their wi-fi (and air conditioning), and two boys/young men just walked past outside, with carefully positioned sideways hats, carefully bleached and distressed jeans, and --i'm not shitting you-- beltbuckles with moving l.e.d phrases, like the ticker on a deli that lists the numbers being served....and i'm pretty sure the letters moving across them read "fornicator". I COULDN'T MAKE THIS UP IF I TRIED, I REALLY COULDN'T.
so there are somethings about urban living that are...entertaining.
i don't really think that i'll give up, or have a breakdown anymore severe than the tears of frustration i've already had...and i think that it will all work itself out in whatever way it's supposed to. but i'm feeling pretty rough about it all right now. it's hard to motivate to unpack...i need a lot of furniture. my mom is coming tomorrow, and we'll get a second bookcase, and at least one dresser, and then i'll have things to unpack into. but i can't believe i ever thought it would be a bad idea for her to come help, i can't imagine doing this without her. i'm also having a little trouble adjusting to the idea that seeing jacob will require several hundred dollars in travel cost, and be much less often than we're used to. that freaks me out a little, too. not in the sense that i worry about us as an "us"...but it's uncomfortable.
THAT'S THE WORD: UNCOMFORTABLE. everything about my surroundings right now is uncomfortable. and make me want to... i don't even know.
and now it's pouring rain! hopefullly that will eleviate some of the humidity and heat. that will also make me more inclined to unpack, if the weather weren't so nasty drippy hot. definitely glad that i moved the futon inside from my car (by myself, today's lesson that you can do things you don't think you're able to) before this started. my mom bought it to save herself the cost of a hotel, but it's here now so come sleep on it!
i should get a few other things done....hopefullly there will be brighter posts in the future, more immediately think good thoughts for me. (thunder and lightening! there are things to love about the midwest!)

the answer is valium

2005-08-02T20:10:00.000-05:00

in which: the cat eats and mouths off, i take a step toward getting established in minneapolis and you get my address, and jacob steps toward st. louis
the cat and i went back to the vet yesterday....an iv bag full of fluid (this time instead of settling across her shoulders in a lump waiting to be absorbeb, the lump was down one side, which made her equilibrium useless), and some valium. actually diazapam. essentially the cat's been in anxiety attack mode for two months, and now that she's had something for it, eating is not only something to do but something to talk about....and rub up against people about, and headbutt people about, and yeah. life's good. she staggers a little still, but her lips and ears are getting pinker. and she's crafty --she's eaten all the "old" purina kibble out of the bowl, and left most of the "new" good-for-her-liver kibble. alread this morning when i shot her pill down her throat (we're getting better at that), she felt heavier. now she's got a little more to put up a fight with about the pills, actually.
i rented a box truck and am moving from storage to my apartment tomorrow! that will be nice...i probably won't unpack, but i'll get it all loaded in, and the bed made, and then there'll be a place for the cat and me in the world besides here....
**NEW ADDRESS:**
Andrea Gross
16 East 25th Street #2
Minneapolis, MN 55404
seriously, can anyone help me with uploading pics? i'll post the ones from the season and the lake, and my new place once it's photo worthy, if i can just do it simply!
and finally, jacob left this afternoon for home, to go to st. louis and sign contracts on friday... the job is so good, and will allow us a certain amount of planning (the california new years is definitly on!!), and even the distance will be good when we adjust to it. . half the life i've had here isn't here now. we had a great weekend though...took our time with goodbyes to places and things, danced all night at "$10prom" last night. the summer's been solid for us, whatever it's been in other capacities....
at the moment i kind of feel like i have the bends, and that's all i want to say about it

sad cat...

2005-07-28T13:03:00.000-05:00

i had to pick the cat up in st.cloud on sunday. she'd been hiding out behind the tv all summer, and when one of the guys she's staying with finally saw her saturday they realized she really hadn't been eating that whole time either. she'd pee'd in their living room and in a bedroom, she was staggering from her weight loss.
i brought her back, she's upstairs in our cabin. she's been to the vet twice in three days, they've filled her with an IV of fluid, taken her temperature (normal, no sign of infection that way), given us a calorie paste that she wants no part of, shaved her and taken blood...and found something's not right with her liver. that was yesterday.
now she has pills, which she tricks me out of unless i use the pill shooter, and the pill shooter causes her to hiss at me, which makes me cry (actually, all of this makes me cry. a lot), and she's been throwing up and sitting in her litter box for about 18 hours. she has food that should make her liver stronger, but she won't eat it.
that's about all i can say right now... charlie brown opened tuesday and it's great, and it looks great. i can pick up my keys to the apartment on saturday, and hopefully start moving stuff in, but i don't know about being away from the cat that long... the weather's lovely. the lake is lovely. if that cat would just straighten up, it would all be fine.

AN ADDRESS

2005-07-20T00:59:00.000-05:00

i don't know it yet, but i found it!
i mean, i sort of know it...my application hasn't been officially approved (so i'll wait to post my new info), but i found an apartment in minneapolis on friday. first ave south and 25th, a few blocks from the college of art and design and a block or two east of nicollet.
it's a brownstone, originally designed to be larger flats, now broken up so that mine has the original kitchen --small apt gas stove and fridge, but a GAS stove, good counter space, excellent storage, and black and white linoleum floor.... large living room space that i can divide up into a work space and a play space, a good sized bedroom and a claw foot tub. (and as my lanny says: you know what sucks about a cast iron tub? precisely nothing!).... radiator heat (included in rent) in each room... not heavy on closet space, but at least enough floor space to have dressers and cabinets and so on.
going to visit my cat in st.cloud on thursday to tell her we have a home, where there are no other cats and where she will hopefully resume eating...she refuses to come out from behind the entertainment center at the apt she's staying in, and has lost a lot of weight...today i had an errand at the pet store and the kitties almost made me cry. i know she'll be ok, she is eating, but it's still hard. i hope she forgives me.

charlie brown is moving along beautifully. i love the way it looks, with painted stripes and polka dots all very cartoony. if i ever figure out how to post pics, there'll be a parade of them --lake life, production shots, so on...

hope you're all well, more soon.

ho-oooooome!

2005-07-13T21:21:00.000-05:00

("where my thoughts are keepin...")
i'll be home labor day weekend!
i'm coming in late on the 1st of september, i'll be there until the 6th... jodie's wedding is the 4th, and that's the reason i'll be back. it feels so good to know i'll be back before the year is up, i can't tell you.
on the here front, we opened the diary of anne frank last night. it's beautiful, i'm so proud of this one. it's really a relief given the way the first half of the season has gone.... i can't believe we're only here another four weeks. jacob has a job interview in st. louis next week, which will hopefully yield a great job with a school district in a nearby suburb as a sound a/v guy, with free lance design opportunities.
i, on the other hand, don't have any plans after the season is up on the 9th. i'm apartment hunting this weekend, hoping for an address to call my own. i'm surfing for jobs, holding my breath, starting to wonder about a day job. remember that time i swore i wouldn't do anything that wasn't design? heh.
so there's the latest....love to all, talk to you soon

14 hours of sleep and a to do list

2005-06-30T01:04:00.000-05:00

today was my first day off in 26.
of those 26, fewer than half a dozen were shorter than 12 hour work days.
of the same 26, more than a dozen (i'd guess) were 15 hour days....
yesterday, after four days of a four person crew working non stop on blue satin tailored jackets (and i mean tailored: horse hair canvas, pad stitching, roll lines, the whole enchilada); my crew and i learned what it feels like to have something cut between final dress and opening night ---the andrews sisters are wearing the red jackets from the previous production. i can't describe how sad erika and i were for our crew, or how loving and sad they were for us.
i left. i had to catch my breath. i drove 40 miles in two hours, down country roads and to lakes i'd never been to. i got stopped in a traffic jam while about thirty canada geese crossed the road (with one mallard at the rear). i went to the grocery store and bought hummus and chips for dinner. i kept driving.
i came back in time to take a brief nap before the show was over and the party started --i knew i couldn't go to the party, but i wanted to hang out with friends in other parts of the campus.... instead i slept for 14 hours.
now it's late, and i'm going to st. cloud tomorrow to pull for anne frank (and to go to the mall, i'm a little sense-deprived)...

but i wanted to let y'all know that i'm alive, and here's why: two nights ago i hung out with friends for the first time all summer at the end of the day. i've been working, sleeping, and getting up to do it again without even realizing the obvious reasons i'm sooo miserable. i hung out and had fun. then i came back to my room and used my fancy prismacolor markers to make the following to do list:
1. breathe
2. let go
3. be gracious
4. try
these are the only things i had to do yesterday, and on that count i think it was a fairly successful day inspite of being violently awful all around.
be in touch y'all.... hey, I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU! tonight i heard my first tornado!!! after three years in illinois, in the tornado belt or whatever, i saw the sky turn green and i heard "the distant rumble of a train"....it was our second tornado warning in two weeks (the first coming at second dress of hello dolly).... i was answering phones in the box office (yes, we're on, yes, we have power, drive safely, see you soon! yes, we're holding the house), making lobby announcements, helping the house manager tear tickets to fill the house faster, and finally pouring pitchers of ice water so that the cast would survive the show without a/c (which went out at the same time that 1/3 of the stage lights with a power outage....so we held the house while they checked and rigged each light cue).... very exciting.
also saw a bald eagle this week.... God is in the details.

on the 8th day there was internet

2005-06-10T23:07:00.000-05:00

it's friday. i think. most of the week i've been a day ahead, and vastly relieved to find that i still have a day more than i think i do. right now it doesn't really matter, the feeling that we won't get it all done is so overwhelming i don't care what day it is.
HELLO DOLLY! opens tuesday. i've learned a lot, and am still learning...some of these lessons are good (you can do more than you think you can, you have the necessary skills to make up the ones you lack), and some of these lessons are...hard. i never want to design 4 shows in 10 weeks again. i can't believe i had to get here to realize how painful this would be. the worst part is, if i'm this tired now where will i be next week when we start the next one, or in three weeks for ANNE FRANK? it's horrifying.
the lake is beautiful. it hasn't been that cold. we've had two or three nights of the most amazing thunder storms i've ever experienced...long and loud, right on top of the house, you could almost feel the electricity in doors. the night before the big one, they had just put our dock into the lake (it's 3 feet wide and maybe 12 feet long, kind of like a board walk just above the water level) and lora and i sat on the dock as the storm blew in: not a sound or a smell except the wind and the water. i don't know how fast it was going but i wouldn't be surprised if it was 20 mph ...it was the feeling you get on the bow of a fast moving boat but no diesel smell or engine noise. or standing on a cliff in the wind, but the water was only 12" below where i was sitting. like being blown clean.
we had the first run through tonight, and it confirmed or answered more issues than it raised. which was basically to say that the list is still too long, but there were no huge surprises. i think that's all i have a right to expect right now.
be in touch, now the internet (and wireless! oh my!) is up and running. the cell works, but i'm running about 6-8 days behind on returning calls that aren't show related. i don't think it'll ever slow down, i'm not sure i'll have a day off all summer. not happy about that either...whatever.
peace

ok....go!

2005-05-29T17:44:00.000-05:00

hey... so i'm not leaving until wednesday morning, but i think this will be my last post from the couch in the green living room on the second floor at 704 w.california. i've loved this apartment, and i'm starting to get a little sad about leaving it. i'm definitely sad about saying so many goodbyes.
next you'll hear about how good it is to be back in alexandria, how lovely the lake is, how strange the blue laws are, how freekin cold it is... if you want to reach me, i'll be checking the gmail account, and my cell phone works. the address is:
andrea gross
c/o theatre l'homme dieu
p.o. box 1086
alexandria, mn 56308
i'll be posting when i can, or when i have something to say. keep checking in on me, i can't wait to hear how all your summers are too! so be in touch! all that's left here are a few last dinners (siam terrace tonight, yum. mock duck. yum.) and the last two or three boxes. i don't care that it's the hole punch and the bathmat in the same box. if there are only two or three boxes like that, it's better than the last few times i've moved. i still have to find a place to dump my rug, and a lot of kitchen stuff that will go to friends.
alright.... see you in the next state. peace

stuck

2005-05-26T17:25:00.000-05:00

i only have a few minutes before todd comes over, we're going to a korean restaraunt he's been talking aout the whole time i've lived here...the goodbyes continue.
i'm stuck. i've arrived at the part of packing to move where i just want to throw away everything i haven't packed yet...which can only mean that the next phase is the part where you throw the drinking glasses and the stapler into the same box because you just don't care. great, i hate that phase even more than sitting here staring at my stuff wishing it would just pack itself or go away.
so far so good in the sense that everything is in a manageable sized box and with like objects. some boxes are inventoried for easier access when unpacking from the storage unit in august (into an apartment that does not yet exist)...i just don't want to continue, and in spite of the fact that i have been working at a reasonable pace for days, everytime i look around the apartment i swear i'm not even half finished. it's exhausting to do and worse to think about.
SIDENOTE (the news is on in the background) does anyone else think the irony is HYSTERICAL that viagra and blindness are being linked??????
so, it's a matter of days (i pick up the uhaul truck on tuesday morning) until i leave. i'm not completely packed, i have to spend saturday shopping for fabric in chicago for the summer season, and i'm not sure how i'm going to get the car up to minnesota with me (there was a plan, it fell through...there are other plans on the radar, but unfulfilled as of yet, and too many factors to describe). i feel like the next week of my life is going to take an awful lot out of me before it's done, but much like many of the weeks i've been here, i just keep plugging along and hope for the best....
peace.

pomp and stuff

2005-05-19T16:06:00.000-05:00

well it's amazing how a thing can just be done.
a robe, a hood, a stage to cross, and a thing to be done.
my mom came thursday, and win came on saturday morning... it was so nice to have visitors, and especially to be able to show this place off a little, to have people here at a time when i'm happy and not stressed and hateful. my mom and i went to cafe paradiso, and artmart..and mirabelle, the bakery. it was nice. she's been here three times, but always in movember and march, so she'd never seen the neighborhood in green. it is beautiful...
on sunday graduation was at 10...by the time i got there i was over the shoes, but what are you going to do... the ceremony was short and sweet, which was nice, and we took a lot of pictures after wards. then we packed a picnic and went out to allerton, which is an estate turned park about twenty minutes away. the weather wasn't great, but it was alright. mama and i got carried away as always, and jacob, todd, mati, and matt came along for the ridiculousness....prosciutto and melon, potato salad, mimosas...red wine. life's good. we walked through the park after lunch, saw the peony garden and discovered the accoustic secrets of the sunken garden. took a mass nap in the grass in the foo dog garden. definitely a good day...
mama left this morning, we've done some packing and some visiting. we went to springfield yesterday to the frank lloyd wright house, and the lincoln museum. that was fun... even the packing was alright. the place looks a little strange, partly packed. but there's lots left to do and a lot of the details of the whole move that i'm still trying to iron out...
i'm picking up a uhaul on the 31st and leave town on the 1st.....lots and lots to do

psst... wait, psst, did you hear that????

2005-05-03T01:17:00.000-05:00

*THAT* MY FRIENDS, WAS...
THE SOUND OF THE 5/8" BINDER SNAPPING SHUT FOR THE LAST TIME.
THE SOUND OF THE LITTLE PRINTER THAT COULD FORCING OUT THE FINAL PAGE, A LABEL FOR THE SPINE OF SAID BINDER.
THE SOUND OF THE LITTLE PAPER CUTTER THAT CONQUERED THE WORLD SLIDING ITS FINAL SLICES.
shhhh... did you hear that?
*THAT* WAS THE SOUND OF ME FINISHING MY THESIS!
(also the sound of me rolling around on my floor giggling with unfettered glee...except that there is no room on my floor.)
will i check it one more time? probably not...afterall, it's the written thesis for a show that closed in november. it's the thing i've been "finishing" ever since. it's finished. that means done. other people read it, i can't look at it again.
and all along, through thick and thin, the theme has been:
THIS THESIS BROUGHT TO YOU BY DJ SPREE, COLDPLAY, THE NUMBER 1.75, AND THE LETTERS J, M, and YOU.
thanks to my parents for teaching me the way, and my friends for lighting it from all distances...eternal gratitude all around. NOW LET'S GO OUT AND PLAY!!!
it's 1:30 in the morning. i haven't made sense for the duration of most of the friendships that read this post, but i'm pretty damn sure i'm about to cease with the sense making for the remainder.... tomorrow i finish my independent study, and then i think i'll be drunk, cleaning my house drunk, for at least three days. i love you, good night.

pee ess: 1.75 is the amount of money required to purchase a tasty pint of lienenkugel's beer at the iron post. now you know.

oof. da.

2005-05-02T22:32:00.000-05:00

yep. that's how it goes... i got some practice this weekend, in minnesooota.
drove up to minneapolis, spent the weekend at lora's (much love for the hospitality and the mileage to both you and matt), checked out a couple apartments, drank with the hommies (much love for the giggles and the hugs, but 9 dollars for a pint and a shot? i don't know if i'm cool enough for uptown...i've been in smallsville too long), met with directors for the summer (just now heard from the fink putz, to those of you to whom that means something, he referred to *both* shows, which i fear means ill tidings for charlie brown and all his pals... yuk). it was a great weekend. solid. oh, wait! except for that one time that it SNOWED on the first of may!!! what am i doing? this is nuts. who moves to a place where it snows in may???
i'm workin away. last day of classes is wednesday. plenty to do before then...eh.
i'm not sure how else i'm feeling. like the end is near and it brings too many things to deal with. head in sand sounds ideal, but i know from experience it just results in a stiff neck and small silicone granuales in your sinuses. none too comfortable really... i feel like i had a lot more to say, but i don't know. call me. maybe it happens in person. or maybe i won't answer because i'm up to my neck in work. the end of semester list is beginning though --in a couple days i can clean my apartment, i can get a haircut, i can do laundry, i can go to the grocery store, i can remember whether to stand or sit. i know it doesn't apply as a girl, but it is the best description of grad school EVER: jess raynes, an acting mfa, in response to how grad school was going, once told me: "man, it's a lot. i mean, i'm storing shakespeare monologues in my short term memory and anywhere i can stick it and i'm accessing my long term term memory just to figure out whether to stand or sit when i'm in the can..." ok, that might not have been his exact words, but it was brilliant. also BRILLIANT, director peter moore's description of hello dolly! for me: "yeah, it's eye candy, but this isn't a whitman's sampler, it's more like godiva".... best concept statement EVER. i should get back to work, since whatever profoundness i thought i held has clearly leaked out my ear.... wheeeee.

the cat hates it

2005-04-26T23:45:00.000-05:00

and frankly so do i.
there is no clear space anywhere in my living room, as the supplies for a 1/4" model have taken over the universe. how could something so small be such an enormous pain in the ass? today in class my friend tesia said: makes you wish for 1/8" fingers. the cat's so pissed at the lack of lounge space she doesn't even seem to want to smell things. this is disturbing.
this week's a little overwhelming. it's causing me to make a noise i don't know how to spell. that's unusual. peace out, off to edit said thesis and go to bed. tomorrow, more of the same...and on and on until it's done.

postcards from the middle

2005-04-25T17:24:00.000-05:00

or, delusions of an audience...
it would seem that the idea of having an instantly publishable forum for my ramblings is an attractive one. who knew? i know, you did.
driving up from edwardsville this morning was interesting...maybe it's the idea that someone will read these thoughts, or the nostalgic elements of having a finite amount of time left in a space. or this theme of the return of saturn that's been running around in the background for a while... but there seemed a lot more to notice. am finally forced to admit that i grew up in a place without the ritual of seasons (we have them, i still maintain, but they definitely don't hold the power they do here --if you didn't get this rant in person, last week it was 80 for three days and then on saturday it could have SNOWED)...one of the things a true spring will teach you is the depth and variation of the color green. at first it makes you do a double take, it's not real it's so fresh. resurrection green. eventually it deepens and mellows --down south it's been a little warmer, you can really tell in just a 170 mile trip. here it's still somewhere in the middle.
i stopped in effingham, at three separate truck stops and couldn't find a single postcard of the giant cross. for a moment i thought i really HAD made it up, but check it out: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/ ...you can search for giant cross, and you can also check out the world's biggest catsup bottle in collinsville, illinois, about 15 minutes from jacob's. i never get tired of taking that route to run errands, it's just too much fun. as i rolled back into town i passed another sight i can't believe i've never told you about and i couldn't make up if i tried: prairie state pig insemenation. awesome.
also along the road past red barns with tin roofs and not-quite-driftwood colored ones collapsing in on themselves (o! to live in a place where things are allowed to fall down and aren't instantly bulldozed to become mulit-family housing!) came some musings about gratitude (again with the leaving here soon theme)... to my midwestern friends who get happy about tunnels, and teach me how grain silos are filled and what combines are (and laugh because i can't remember the answer well enough to tell anyone else what a combine is)... what the hell are those things with the gynormous tires???? they were everywhere today. to midwestern friends who've taught me to appreciate trains and never cease to find it amusing because i still want to count the cars the way mama and i used to, even when the train stretches on out of sight. to my midwestern friends who've taught me that the phrase "smells like rain" isn't as all inclusive as it might sound. and that the answer to "what's that smell?!" is "southland farms" (frequently the main body of campus is downwind from the ag dept...never knew there were so many different cow shit smells)...
and now i'm back in urbana, sitting outside at cafe paradiso eating pasta salad after a wholly unsuccessful research trip to the 3rd largets university library in the country. really. all the good it does me to attend the university with the 3rd largest research library in the country is that it affords me the opportunity to be that much more indignant when i can't find whatever i'm looking for.
right. i should finish my food and go home to pet the cat, since i probably won't have time to again all week. the paper thesis announced finished in my last post really requires some heavy editing, and the rest of it's not quite as marvelously close to done as i'd hoped. it's due the last week of classes (which would be next week, what the F?), but i'm determined to turn it in before i leave for minneapolis on friday. on principal. haven't done a thing before the last minute all three years, think i'll make a big splashy statement. also have a final project due thursday that's in reasonable shape but by no means assembled. it would seem that the period of stupor after the scottish play closed is over. BACK ON THE PONY! yipe.

heh.

2005-04-23T15:07:00.000-05:00

it worked... the phone rang twice this morning unexpectedly. sweet...
think i'm done writing my thesis, as of this morning. for something i've been ducking, dodging and avoiding as best i can, it finished up pretty easily. passing it off to friends to edit and comment on this week. now trying not to count minutes until i can leave here.... how are you?

um....

2005-04-23T01:12:00.000-05:00

if you think it's funny that i have a blog, you're right.
what will you find here? what will this mean? i do not know. probably nothing. i'll probably forget all about it next week... but i'm getting to a point in life where everything's on the cusp, nothing will be the same in the blink of an eye, and i'm at a loss for thoughts on the matter for the most part.
grad school is ending. can this be possible? how have i lived in illinois for three years? how have i been so far removed from my college friends for so long? how have i been blessed to make so many friends here and through here?
i've learned a lot...boy howdie have i. but now what? will i apply it? forget it? determine that it has no bearing on an actual career? who knows....it's a vaguely squishy feeling, not knowing what's next. remember when you graduated from college? yeah, except now you've got a skill set you're supposed to be able to DO something with, and you're closer to 30 (HOW does that matter? when did i and my friends become old enough to even CARE about thirty?), and you're in a state you never thought you'd live in, moving in a direction that is definitely not the homeward bound one you imagined... it's squishy, that's all there is to it.
so here's what is happening...i'm going to edwardsville this weekend to see jacob's final design project show. then next weekend i'm going to minneapolis to neighborhood shop and meet with directors for the summer season. then it's jacob's graduation and then my mom comes (3 weeks from yesterday) for a week and my graduation. then i pack my apartment into a uhaul (which i reserved last week, perhaps bringing on the specificity of squishy), and driving it to a storage space outside minneapolis (also reserved last week), and heading up to alexandria minnesota, to theatre l'homme dieu (lahommadoo to those of you who don't speak minnesotan), to be the resident costume designer for Hello Dolly! (yes, you can smirk), Sisters of Swing, The Diary of Anne Frank, and You're a Good Man Charlie Brown... it's the place i worked last summer, a place that makes me incredibly happy. a place with a lake. a place that is a belly rub for the soul.
and then. i'm moving to minneapolis to free lance costume design. these are sometimes the scariest nine words in the english language. sometimes, not so scary...sometimes totally natural.
so that's what next... who knows how this thing will work out, but hopefully it will put me in closer touch with people i love and miss... peace out.