postcards from the middle

or, delusions of an audience...
it would seem that the idea of having an instantly publishable forum for my ramblings is an attractive one. who knew? i know, you did.
driving up from edwardsville this morning was interesting...maybe it's the idea that someone will read these thoughts, or the nostalgic elements of having a finite amount of time left in a space. or this theme of the return of saturn that's been running around in the background for a while... but there seemed a lot more to notice. am finally forced to admit that i grew up in a place without the ritual of seasons (we have them, i still maintain, but they definitely don't hold the power they do here --if you didn't get this rant in person, last week it was 80 for three days and then on saturday it could have SNOWED)...one of the things a true spring will teach you is the depth and variation of the color green. at first it makes you do a double take, it's not real it's so fresh. resurrection green. eventually it deepens and mellows --down south it's been a little warmer, you can really tell in just a 170 mile trip. here it's still somewhere in the middle.
i stopped in effingham, at three separate truck stops and couldn't find a single postcard of the giant cross. for a moment i thought i really HAD made it up, but check it out: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/ ...you can search for giant cross, and you can also check out the world's biggest catsup bottle in collinsville, illinois, about 15 minutes from jacob's. i never get tired of taking that route to run errands, it's just too much fun. as i rolled back into town i passed another sight i can't believe i've never told you about and i couldn't make up if i tried: prairie state pig insemenation. awesome.
also along the road past red barns with tin roofs and not-quite-driftwood colored ones collapsing in on themselves (o! to live in a place where things are allowed to fall down and aren't instantly bulldozed to become mulit-family housing!) came some musings about gratitude (again with the leaving here soon theme)... to my midwestern friends who get happy about tunnels, and teach me how grain silos are filled and what combines are (and laugh because i can't remember the answer well enough to tell anyone else what a combine is)... what the hell are those things with the gynormous tires???? they were everywhere today. to midwestern friends who've taught me to appreciate trains and never cease to find it amusing because i still want to count the cars the way mama and i used to, even when the train stretches on out of sight. to my midwestern friends who've taught me that the phrase "smells like rain" isn't as all inclusive as it might sound. and that the answer to "what's that smell?!" is "southland farms" (frequently the main body of campus is downwind from the ag dept...never knew there were so many different cow shit smells)...
and now i'm back in urbana, sitting outside at cafe paradiso eating pasta salad after a wholly unsuccessful research trip to the 3rd largets university library in the country. really. all the good it does me to attend the university with the 3rd largest research library in the country is that it affords me the opportunity to be that much more indignant when i can't find whatever i'm looking for.
right. i should finish my food and go home to pet the cat, since i probably won't have time to again all week. the paper thesis announced finished in my last post really requires some heavy editing, and the rest of it's not quite as marvelously close to done as i'd hoped. it's due the last week of classes (which would be next week, what the F?), but i'm determined to turn it in before i leave for minneapolis on friday. on principal. haven't done a thing before the last minute all three years, think i'll make a big splashy statement. also have a final project due thursday that's in reasonable shape but by no means assembled. it would seem that the period of stupor after the scottish play closed is over. BACK ON THE PONY! yipe.