um....

if you think it's funny that i have a blog, you're right.
what will you find here? what will this mean? i do not know. probably nothing. i'll probably forget all about it next week... but i'm getting to a point in life where everything's on the cusp, nothing will be the same in the blink of an eye, and i'm at a loss for thoughts on the matter for the most part.
grad school is ending. can this be possible? how have i lived in illinois for three years? how have i been so far removed from my college friends for so long? how have i been blessed to make so many friends here and through here?
i've learned a lot...boy howdie have i. but now what? will i apply it? forget it? determine that it has no bearing on an actual career? who knows....it's a vaguely squishy feeling, not knowing what's next. remember when you graduated from college? yeah, except now you've got a skill set you're supposed to be able to DO something with, and you're closer to 30 (HOW does that matter? when did i and my friends become old enough to even CARE about thirty?), and you're in a state you never thought you'd live in, moving in a direction that is definitely not the homeward bound one you imagined... it's squishy, that's all there is to it.
so here's what is happening...i'm going to edwardsville this weekend to see jacob's final design project show. then next weekend i'm going to minneapolis to neighborhood shop and meet with directors for the summer season. then it's jacob's graduation and then my mom comes (3 weeks from yesterday) for a week and my graduation. then i pack my apartment into a uhaul (which i reserved last week, perhaps bringing on the specificity of squishy), and driving it to a storage space outside minneapolis (also reserved last week), and heading up to alexandria minnesota, to theatre l'homme dieu (lahommadoo to those of you who don't speak minnesotan), to be the resident costume designer for Hello Dolly! (yes, you can smirk), Sisters of Swing, The Diary of Anne Frank, and You're a Good Man Charlie Brown... it's the place i worked last summer, a place that makes me incredibly happy. a place with a lake. a place that is a belly rub for the soul.
and then. i'm moving to minneapolis to free lance costume design. these are sometimes the scariest nine words in the english language. sometimes, not so scary...sometimes totally natural.
so that's what next... who knows how this thing will work out, but hopefully it will put me in closer touch with people i love and miss... peace out.