and frankly so do i.
there is no clear space anywhere in my living room, as the supplies for a 1/4" model have taken over the universe. how could something so small be such an enormous pain in the ass? today in class my friend tesia said: makes you wish for 1/8" fingers. the cat's so pissed at the lack of lounge space she doesn't even seem to want to smell things. this is disturbing.
this week's a little overwhelming. it's causing me to make a noise i don't know how to spell. that's unusual. peace out, off to edit said thesis and go to bed. tomorrow, more of the same...and on and on until it's done.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Monday, April 25, 2005
postcards from the middle
or, delusions of an audience...
it would seem that the idea of having an instantly publishable forum for my ramblings is an attractive one. who knew? i know, you did.
driving up from edwardsville this morning was interesting...maybe it's the idea that someone will read these thoughts, or the nostalgic elements of having a finite amount of time left in a space. or this theme of the return of saturn that's been running around in the background for a while... but there seemed a lot more to notice. am finally forced to admit that i grew up in a place without the ritual of seasons (we have them, i still maintain, but they definitely don't hold the power they do here --if you didn't get this rant in person, last week it was 80 for three days and then on saturday it could have SNOWED)...one of the things a true spring will teach you is the depth and variation of the color green. at first it makes you do a double take, it's not real it's so fresh. resurrection green. eventually it deepens and mellows --down south it's been a little warmer, you can really tell in just a 170 mile trip. here it's still somewhere in the middle.
i stopped in effingham, at three separate truck stops and couldn't find a single postcard of the giant cross. for a moment i thought i really HAD made it up, but check it out: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/ ...you can search for giant cross, and you can also check out the world's biggest catsup bottle in collinsville, illinois, about 15 minutes from jacob's. i never get tired of taking that route to run errands, it's just too much fun. as i rolled back into town i passed another sight i can't believe i've never told you about and i couldn't make up if i tried: prairie state pig insemenation. awesome.
also along the road past red barns with tin roofs and not-quite-driftwood colored ones collapsing in on themselves (o! to live in a place where things are allowed to fall down and aren't instantly bulldozed to become mulit-family housing!) came some musings about gratitude (again with the leaving here soon theme)... to my midwestern friends who get happy about tunnels, and teach me how grain silos are filled and what combines are (and laugh because i can't remember the answer well enough to tell anyone else what a combine is)... what the hell are those things with the gynormous tires???? they were everywhere today. to midwestern friends who've taught me to appreciate trains and never cease to find it amusing because i still want to count the cars the way mama and i used to, even when the train stretches on out of sight. to my midwestern friends who've taught me that the phrase "smells like rain" isn't as all inclusive as it might sound. and that the answer to "what's that smell?!" is "southland farms" (frequently the main body of campus is downwind from the ag dept...never knew there were so many different cow shit smells)...
and now i'm back in urbana, sitting outside at cafe paradiso eating pasta salad after a wholly unsuccessful research trip to the 3rd largets university library in the country. really. all the good it does me to attend the university with the 3rd largest research library in the country is that it affords me the opportunity to be that much more indignant when i can't find whatever i'm looking for.
right. i should finish my food and go home to pet the cat, since i probably won't have time to again all week. the paper thesis announced finished in my last post really requires some heavy editing, and the rest of it's not quite as marvelously close to done as i'd hoped. it's due the last week of classes (which would be next week, what the F?), but i'm determined to turn it in before i leave for minneapolis on friday. on principal. haven't done a thing before the last minute all three years, think i'll make a big splashy statement. also have a final project due thursday that's in reasonable shape but by no means assembled. it would seem that the period of stupor after the scottish play closed is over. BACK ON THE PONY! yipe.
it would seem that the idea of having an instantly publishable forum for my ramblings is an attractive one. who knew? i know, you did.
driving up from edwardsville this morning was interesting...maybe it's the idea that someone will read these thoughts, or the nostalgic elements of having a finite amount of time left in a space. or this theme of the return of saturn that's been running around in the background for a while... but there seemed a lot more to notice. am finally forced to admit that i grew up in a place without the ritual of seasons (we have them, i still maintain, but they definitely don't hold the power they do here --if you didn't get this rant in person, last week it was 80 for three days and then on saturday it could have SNOWED)...one of the things a true spring will teach you is the depth and variation of the color green. at first it makes you do a double take, it's not real it's so fresh. resurrection green. eventually it deepens and mellows --down south it's been a little warmer, you can really tell in just a 170 mile trip. here it's still somewhere in the middle.
i stopped in effingham, at three separate truck stops and couldn't find a single postcard of the giant cross. for a moment i thought i really HAD made it up, but check it out: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/ ...you can search for giant cross, and you can also check out the world's biggest catsup bottle in collinsville, illinois, about 15 minutes from jacob's. i never get tired of taking that route to run errands, it's just too much fun. as i rolled back into town i passed another sight i can't believe i've never told you about and i couldn't make up if i tried: prairie state pig insemenation. awesome.
also along the road past red barns with tin roofs and not-quite-driftwood colored ones collapsing in on themselves (o! to live in a place where things are allowed to fall down and aren't instantly bulldozed to become mulit-family housing!) came some musings about gratitude (again with the leaving here soon theme)... to my midwestern friends who get happy about tunnels, and teach me how grain silos are filled and what combines are (and laugh because i can't remember the answer well enough to tell anyone else what a combine is)... what the hell are those things with the gynormous tires???? they were everywhere today. to midwestern friends who've taught me to appreciate trains and never cease to find it amusing because i still want to count the cars the way mama and i used to, even when the train stretches on out of sight. to my midwestern friends who've taught me that the phrase "smells like rain" isn't as all inclusive as it might sound. and that the answer to "what's that smell?!" is "southland farms" (frequently the main body of campus is downwind from the ag dept...never knew there were so many different cow shit smells)...
and now i'm back in urbana, sitting outside at cafe paradiso eating pasta salad after a wholly unsuccessful research trip to the 3rd largets university library in the country. really. all the good it does me to attend the university with the 3rd largest research library in the country is that it affords me the opportunity to be that much more indignant when i can't find whatever i'm looking for.
right. i should finish my food and go home to pet the cat, since i probably won't have time to again all week. the paper thesis announced finished in my last post really requires some heavy editing, and the rest of it's not quite as marvelously close to done as i'd hoped. it's due the last week of classes (which would be next week, what the F?), but i'm determined to turn it in before i leave for minneapolis on friday. on principal. haven't done a thing before the last minute all three years, think i'll make a big splashy statement. also have a final project due thursday that's in reasonable shape but by no means assembled. it would seem that the period of stupor after the scottish play closed is over. BACK ON THE PONY! yipe.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
heh.
it worked... the phone rang twice this morning unexpectedly. sweet...
think i'm done writing my thesis, as of this morning. for something i've been ducking, dodging and avoiding as best i can, it finished up pretty easily. passing it off to friends to edit and comment on this week. now trying not to count minutes until i can leave here.... how are you?
think i'm done writing my thesis, as of this morning. for something i've been ducking, dodging and avoiding as best i can, it finished up pretty easily. passing it off to friends to edit and comment on this week. now trying not to count minutes until i can leave here.... how are you?
um....
if you think it's funny that i have a blog, you're right.
what will you find here? what will this mean? i do not know. probably nothing. i'll probably forget all about it next week... but i'm getting to a point in life where everything's on the cusp, nothing will be the same in the blink of an eye, and i'm at a loss for thoughts on the matter for the most part.
grad school is ending. can this be possible? how have i lived in illinois for three years? how have i been so far removed from my college friends for so long? how have i been blessed to make so many friends here and through here?
i've learned a lot...boy howdie have i. but now what? will i apply it? forget it? determine that it has no bearing on an actual career? who knows....it's a vaguely squishy feeling, not knowing what's next. remember when you graduated from college? yeah, except now you've got a skill set you're supposed to be able to DO something with, and you're closer to 30 (HOW does that matter? when did i and my friends become old enough to even CARE about thirty?), and you're in a state you never thought you'd live in, moving in a direction that is definitely not the homeward bound one you imagined... it's squishy, that's all there is to it.
so here's what is happening...i'm going to edwardsville this weekend to see jacob's final design project show. then next weekend i'm going to minneapolis to neighborhood shop and meet with directors for the summer season. then it's jacob's graduation and then my mom comes (3 weeks from yesterday) for a week and my graduation. then i pack my apartment into a uhaul (which i reserved last week, perhaps bringing on the specificity of squishy), and driving it to a storage space outside minneapolis (also reserved last week), and heading up to alexandria minnesota, to theatre l'homme dieu (lahommadoo to those of you who don't speak minnesotan), to be the resident costume designer for Hello Dolly! (yes, you can smirk), Sisters of Swing, The Diary of Anne Frank, and You're a Good Man Charlie Brown... it's the place i worked last summer, a place that makes me incredibly happy. a place with a lake. a place that is a belly rub for the soul.
and then. i'm moving to minneapolis to free lance costume design. these are sometimes the scariest nine words in the english language. sometimes, not so scary...sometimes totally natural.
so that's what next... who knows how this thing will work out, but hopefully it will put me in closer touch with people i love and miss... peace out.
what will you find here? what will this mean? i do not know. probably nothing. i'll probably forget all about it next week... but i'm getting to a point in life where everything's on the cusp, nothing will be the same in the blink of an eye, and i'm at a loss for thoughts on the matter for the most part.
grad school is ending. can this be possible? how have i lived in illinois for three years? how have i been so far removed from my college friends for so long? how have i been blessed to make so many friends here and through here?
i've learned a lot...boy howdie have i. but now what? will i apply it? forget it? determine that it has no bearing on an actual career? who knows....it's a vaguely squishy feeling, not knowing what's next. remember when you graduated from college? yeah, except now you've got a skill set you're supposed to be able to DO something with, and you're closer to 30 (HOW does that matter? when did i and my friends become old enough to even CARE about thirty?), and you're in a state you never thought you'd live in, moving in a direction that is definitely not the homeward bound one you imagined... it's squishy, that's all there is to it.
so here's what is happening...i'm going to edwardsville this weekend to see jacob's final design project show. then next weekend i'm going to minneapolis to neighborhood shop and meet with directors for the summer season. then it's jacob's graduation and then my mom comes (3 weeks from yesterday) for a week and my graduation. then i pack my apartment into a uhaul (which i reserved last week, perhaps bringing on the specificity of squishy), and driving it to a storage space outside minneapolis (also reserved last week), and heading up to alexandria minnesota, to theatre l'homme dieu (lahommadoo to those of you who don't speak minnesotan), to be the resident costume designer for Hello Dolly! (yes, you can smirk), Sisters of Swing, The Diary of Anne Frank, and You're a Good Man Charlie Brown... it's the place i worked last summer, a place that makes me incredibly happy. a place with a lake. a place that is a belly rub for the soul.
and then. i'm moving to minneapolis to free lance costume design. these are sometimes the scariest nine words in the english language. sometimes, not so scary...sometimes totally natural.
so that's what next... who knows how this thing will work out, but hopefully it will put me in closer touch with people i love and miss... peace out.
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