thunder and lightening at five am....right on top of the house.
right on top of each other FLASHBANG! rumblerumble FLASHBANG!
the cat's still under the clawfoot tub, twelve hours later.
the bathroom cabinet from our backyard has "mysteriously" come in and is now on the floor at the bottom of the stairs to the second story. ie, right outside my kitchen door. whatever....
Friday, August 26, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
more neighborhood bla bla
the bright yellow building kittycorner from the spyhouse, with the spanish banner for tarot readings and other spiritual services, has a toilet sitting on the lawn in front of it.
come to think of it, there was a bathroom mirror/medicine cabinet on the back lawn of my place last night... i wonder if some bathroom appliance fairy was flying low yesterday afternoon, dropping off needed items in yards that don't need them.
heh.
come to think of it, there was a bathroom mirror/medicine cabinet on the back lawn of my place last night... i wonder if some bathroom appliance fairy was flying low yesterday afternoon, dropping off needed items in yards that don't need them.
heh.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
hip hip!
three cheers for great theatre.
saw the guthrie's THE CONSTANT WIFE last night (kind thanks to zack for thinking of me when he was offered free tickets!), and it was awesome. a 1920's comedy about fidelity and the economic practicality of marriage, with a lot of well disguised politics to it, the more i think about it this morning. brilliantly paced and timed, really just classic. a great opening night for them, i hope it's a good run too....
to say that the production values at the guthrie are impressive would be, um, and understatement. i didn't love every choice the costume designer made, but the fabrics were delicious and even if it does betray my compulsive inability to drop the attention to things like this, they were beeautifully made. i don't, actually, usually look so acutely at construction, but the fabrication was undeniably stunning in this case....i think the whole show must have been built, it was that perfectly suited to the actors and the show, and the men's suits were at least as gorgeous as the women's clothes.
three cheers indeed!
saw the guthrie's THE CONSTANT WIFE last night (kind thanks to zack for thinking of me when he was offered free tickets!), and it was awesome. a 1920's comedy about fidelity and the economic practicality of marriage, with a lot of well disguised politics to it, the more i think about it this morning. brilliantly paced and timed, really just classic. a great opening night for them, i hope it's a good run too....
to say that the production values at the guthrie are impressive would be, um, and understatement. i didn't love every choice the costume designer made, but the fabrics were delicious and even if it does betray my compulsive inability to drop the attention to things like this, they were beeautifully made. i don't, actually, usually look so acutely at construction, but the fabrication was undeniably stunning in this case....i think the whole show must have been built, it was that perfectly suited to the actors and the show, and the men's suits were at least as gorgeous as the women's clothes.
three cheers indeed!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
query
does anyone else find it... ironic, or somehow, um, fake, to watch a waiflike man with nearly blue pale skin, eyeliner, and shoulder length ink black hair get into a white mercedes hatchback kompressor and drive away from a coffe house?
YES, BOYS AND GIRLS, THE CYNICISM HAS RETURNED, rising in a phoenix-esque manner from the shores of last week's blind paralytic panic.
i'm at the spyhouse, eating a decadent almond croissant, (purchased from a girl with surface piercings on her forearms, walking gingerly as the tops of her feet are freshly tattoo'd) watching the zoo that is my neighborhood and loving it. as i told my mom the day i brought her back from the airport --where i live the punks are real. a few blocks over in gentrified uptown, they're a little affected. but here it's all real. as another thought about the neighborhood, i noticed the other day that with the few exceptions of small dogs, all the dogs i've seen in the neighborhood in a week and a half qualify as dangerous breeds. i'm not afraid, the sweetest, brightest dog i know is a pit named athena (but i have heard about the recent death in the sunset), i'm just surprised since so many ads i looked at specified no agressive breeds... it's interesting. i'm not generally prone to petting dogs i don't know anyway, but maybe it just adds to the edginess of the hood.
so as you can see, in addition to having found my sense of cynicism, i am also much more relaxed about the place i live. much of this could be attributed to the simple act (within half an hour of her arrival) of my mother finding the locking mechanism on my windows, so i don't feel unsafe leaving them open when i'm not there. i think the rest of it is just the comfort of mom... i was worried that moving is stressful and money is worse, but really we handled both of those things and nobody yelled or cried. mama makes all things manageable.
we went to ikea, i know it's stupid cookie cutter, but i don't care, it's also affordable and simple and i like what we found (a tall narrow bathroom cabinet we purchased and brought home, and a bookshelf that we didn't b/c it wouldn't fit in my car, as well as a super cool table that folds down to a 6" wide console when the leaves are down...which was out of stock. so i'll return with lora and her family's suv soon....) i have shopped and looked other places too, but money and time are of the essence ---the office portion of the living room remains a maze of boxes until i get more shelves to unload them into and make it a useful work space.
we went to alexandria for the weekend, stayed with the gracious godfather of theatre l'homme dieu, vern and his lovely wife paula. they have a great place on the lake, and took us out on their pontoon for my mom's birthday. she was enthralled and it was great. we went to the theatre campus, but it's very very strange when empty. first of all, it only takes 10 minutes to show the whole place. when it's full, with rehearsals going and lunch cooking and saws running and sewing machines humming, it's hard to get from one building to another with your train of thought intact. with no one there it seemed a little... little. but it's beautiful, which one sometimes overlooks during hive-time.
we had dinner at the black forest, a forty year old german restaraunt a block from my house (boasting, among others, a bill board that says: "non-germans find it excelllent. germans find it surprisinly adequate." my mom laughed heartily... also one that reads: "bring the kids. we serve brats.") she met courtney and katie there, friends from last summer's season... lora took us to minnehaha falls, which was beautiful, and we had lunch with kenzie and grant the other day...so she's met some folks, which was important to me too.
we did some math, which told us that on a very tight budget i can deal until something comes up that i can live with --i not only have great distaste for almost every job we've found in the star tribune, the citypages, and craigslist, i'm vastly underqualified for almost all of them. i need something, and soon, but at least i can spend a couple bucks at the grocery store and a couple bucks at the coffee house for internet access and be alright.
that's about all i have to say, but i did want to share one last thing.... http://www.taize.fr/
i was in taize for holy week the year i was in berlin. it was one of the most singular and communally beautiful weeks of my life, and this sentiment is no doubt being echoed in grief around the world this week. brother roger was a man of peace so profound it almost can't be described... his brothers and sisters must keenly feel his absence in taize, and millions around the world feel it quietly in their own way. peace be with you
YES, BOYS AND GIRLS, THE CYNICISM HAS RETURNED, rising in a phoenix-esque manner from the shores of last week's blind paralytic panic.
i'm at the spyhouse, eating a decadent almond croissant, (purchased from a girl with surface piercings on her forearms, walking gingerly as the tops of her feet are freshly tattoo'd) watching the zoo that is my neighborhood and loving it. as i told my mom the day i brought her back from the airport --where i live the punks are real. a few blocks over in gentrified uptown, they're a little affected. but here it's all real. as another thought about the neighborhood, i noticed the other day that with the few exceptions of small dogs, all the dogs i've seen in the neighborhood in a week and a half qualify as dangerous breeds. i'm not afraid, the sweetest, brightest dog i know is a pit named athena (but i have heard about the recent death in the sunset), i'm just surprised since so many ads i looked at specified no agressive breeds... it's interesting. i'm not generally prone to petting dogs i don't know anyway, but maybe it just adds to the edginess of the hood.
so as you can see, in addition to having found my sense of cynicism, i am also much more relaxed about the place i live. much of this could be attributed to the simple act (within half an hour of her arrival) of my mother finding the locking mechanism on my windows, so i don't feel unsafe leaving them open when i'm not there. i think the rest of it is just the comfort of mom... i was worried that moving is stressful and money is worse, but really we handled both of those things and nobody yelled or cried. mama makes all things manageable.
we went to ikea, i know it's stupid cookie cutter, but i don't care, it's also affordable and simple and i like what we found (a tall narrow bathroom cabinet we purchased and brought home, and a bookshelf that we didn't b/c it wouldn't fit in my car, as well as a super cool table that folds down to a 6" wide console when the leaves are down...which was out of stock. so i'll return with lora and her family's suv soon....) i have shopped and looked other places too, but money and time are of the essence ---the office portion of the living room remains a maze of boxes until i get more shelves to unload them into and make it a useful work space.
we went to alexandria for the weekend, stayed with the gracious godfather of theatre l'homme dieu, vern and his lovely wife paula. they have a great place on the lake, and took us out on their pontoon for my mom's birthday. she was enthralled and it was great. we went to the theatre campus, but it's very very strange when empty. first of all, it only takes 10 minutes to show the whole place. when it's full, with rehearsals going and lunch cooking and saws running and sewing machines humming, it's hard to get from one building to another with your train of thought intact. with no one there it seemed a little... little. but it's beautiful, which one sometimes overlooks during hive-time.
we had dinner at the black forest, a forty year old german restaraunt a block from my house (boasting, among others, a bill board that says: "non-germans find it excelllent. germans find it surprisinly adequate." my mom laughed heartily... also one that reads: "bring the kids. we serve brats.") she met courtney and katie there, friends from last summer's season... lora took us to minnehaha falls, which was beautiful, and we had lunch with kenzie and grant the other day...so she's met some folks, which was important to me too.
we did some math, which told us that on a very tight budget i can deal until something comes up that i can live with --i not only have great distaste for almost every job we've found in the star tribune, the citypages, and craigslist, i'm vastly underqualified for almost all of them. i need something, and soon, but at least i can spend a couple bucks at the grocery store and a couple bucks at the coffee house for internet access and be alright.
that's about all i have to say, but i did want to share one last thing.... http://www.taize.fr/
i was in taize for holy week the year i was in berlin. it was one of the most singular and communally beautiful weeks of my life, and this sentiment is no doubt being echoed in grief around the world this week. brother roger was a man of peace so profound it almost can't be described... his brothers and sisters must keenly feel his absence in taize, and millions around the world feel it quietly in their own way. peace be with you
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
warning
that's all, just warning.
i don't know how to describe my mood or explain any of the thoughts i've had in the last 24 hours. i left l'homme dieu yesterday, with the last of my stuff and my cat (who's alternating between under the bathtub and under the work table, but has also been on the bed with me, and eaten a little....i'll take it.)
about here: it's hot. i have no money...due to my own failure to mail checks promptly and the u.s. mail's failure to deliver as expected, i'm actually overdrawn. the fact that i'm publishing that information on the internet should tell you a little about my state of mind.
overwhelmed.
a little anxious...even distantly frantic if that makes any sense.
totally unprepared for what it would feel like emotionally to be here, with an apartment, and a few possible design gigs on the horizon, but no actual income beyond my rent/health insurance fund. totally unprepared for the fact that living in a city would be scary to me. ME? i don't know what's wrong with me...if it's the isolation of the last two months up at the lake, or if i just don't remember what it took to adjust the other direction when i got to champaign-urbana....but i live on really busy streets. i feel like i can't safely leave my windows open when i'm not home. urbanites take themselves seriously, and i don't know if i'll really make friends or if i'll just have co-workers. suddenly the whole thing seems like it might have been a bad idea. should i have come home? should i have gone to chicago? i have no idea. i'm reasonably sure that no matter where i went after grad school there would be an adjustment period and it would be strange.
****WHOA, SIDENOTE: i'm sitting at the "famous" spyhouse coffehouse, which is in my backyard, to use their wi-fi (and air conditioning), and two boys/young men just walked past outside, with carefully positioned sideways hats, carefully bleached and distressed jeans, and --i'm not shitting you-- beltbuckles with moving l.e.d phrases, like the ticker on a deli that lists the numbers being served....and i'm pretty sure the letters moving across them read "fornicator". I COULDN'T MAKE THIS UP IF I TRIED, I REALLY COULDN'T.
so there are somethings about urban living that are...entertaining.
i don't really think that i'll give up, or have a breakdown anymore severe than the tears of frustration i've already had...and i think that it will all work itself out in whatever way it's supposed to. but i'm feeling pretty rough about it all right now. it's hard to motivate to unpack...i need a lot of furniture. my mom is coming tomorrow, and we'll get a second bookcase, and at least one dresser, and then i'll have things to unpack into. but i can't believe i ever thought it would be a bad idea for her to come help, i can't imagine doing this without her. i'm also having a little trouble adjusting to the idea that seeing jacob will require several hundred dollars in travel cost, and be much less often than we're used to. that freaks me out a little, too. not in the sense that i worry about us as an "us"...but it's uncomfortable.
THAT'S THE WORD: UNCOMFORTABLE. everything about my surroundings right now is uncomfortable. and make me want to... i don't even know.
and now it's pouring rain! hopefullly that will eleviate some of the humidity and heat. that will also make me more inclined to unpack, if the weather weren't so nasty drippy hot. definitely glad that i moved the futon inside from my car (by myself, today's lesson that you can do things you don't think you're able to) before this started. my mom bought it to save herself the cost of a hotel, but it's here now so come sleep on it!
i should get a few other things done....hopefullly there will be brighter posts in the future, more immediately think good thoughts for me. (thunder and lightening! there are things to love about the midwest!)
i don't know how to describe my mood or explain any of the thoughts i've had in the last 24 hours. i left l'homme dieu yesterday, with the last of my stuff and my cat (who's alternating between under the bathtub and under the work table, but has also been on the bed with me, and eaten a little....i'll take it.)
about here: it's hot. i have no money...due to my own failure to mail checks promptly and the u.s. mail's failure to deliver as expected, i'm actually overdrawn. the fact that i'm publishing that information on the internet should tell you a little about my state of mind.
overwhelmed.
a little anxious...even distantly frantic if that makes any sense.
totally unprepared for what it would feel like emotionally to be here, with an apartment, and a few possible design gigs on the horizon, but no actual income beyond my rent/health insurance fund. totally unprepared for the fact that living in a city would be scary to me. ME? i don't know what's wrong with me...if it's the isolation of the last two months up at the lake, or if i just don't remember what it took to adjust the other direction when i got to champaign-urbana....but i live on really busy streets. i feel like i can't safely leave my windows open when i'm not home. urbanites take themselves seriously, and i don't know if i'll really make friends or if i'll just have co-workers. suddenly the whole thing seems like it might have been a bad idea. should i have come home? should i have gone to chicago? i have no idea. i'm reasonably sure that no matter where i went after grad school there would be an adjustment period and it would be strange.
****WHOA, SIDENOTE: i'm sitting at the "famous" spyhouse coffehouse, which is in my backyard, to use their wi-fi (and air conditioning), and two boys/young men just walked past outside, with carefully positioned sideways hats, carefully bleached and distressed jeans, and --i'm not shitting you-- beltbuckles with moving l.e.d phrases, like the ticker on a deli that lists the numbers being served....and i'm pretty sure the letters moving across them read "fornicator". I COULDN'T MAKE THIS UP IF I TRIED, I REALLY COULDN'T.
so there are somethings about urban living that are...entertaining.
i don't really think that i'll give up, or have a breakdown anymore severe than the tears of frustration i've already had...and i think that it will all work itself out in whatever way it's supposed to. but i'm feeling pretty rough about it all right now. it's hard to motivate to unpack...i need a lot of furniture. my mom is coming tomorrow, and we'll get a second bookcase, and at least one dresser, and then i'll have things to unpack into. but i can't believe i ever thought it would be a bad idea for her to come help, i can't imagine doing this without her. i'm also having a little trouble adjusting to the idea that seeing jacob will require several hundred dollars in travel cost, and be much less often than we're used to. that freaks me out a little, too. not in the sense that i worry about us as an "us"...but it's uncomfortable.
THAT'S THE WORD: UNCOMFORTABLE. everything about my surroundings right now is uncomfortable. and make me want to... i don't even know.
and now it's pouring rain! hopefullly that will eleviate some of the humidity and heat. that will also make me more inclined to unpack, if the weather weren't so nasty drippy hot. definitely glad that i moved the futon inside from my car (by myself, today's lesson that you can do things you don't think you're able to) before this started. my mom bought it to save herself the cost of a hotel, but it's here now so come sleep on it!
i should get a few other things done....hopefullly there will be brighter posts in the future, more immediately think good thoughts for me. (thunder and lightening! there are things to love about the midwest!)
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
the answer is valium
in which: the cat eats and mouths off, i take a step toward getting established in minneapolis and you get my address, and jacob steps toward st. louis
the cat and i went back to the vet yesterday....an iv bag full of fluid (this time instead of settling across her shoulders in a lump waiting to be absorbeb, the lump was down one side, which made her equilibrium useless), and some valium. actually diazapam. essentially the cat's been in anxiety attack mode for two months, and now that she's had something for it, eating is not only something to do but something to talk about....and rub up against people about, and headbutt people about, and yeah. life's good. she staggers a little still, but her lips and ears are getting pinker. and she's crafty --she's eaten all the "old" purina kibble out of the bowl, and left most of the "new" good-for-her-liver kibble. alread this morning when i shot her pill down her throat (we're getting better at that), she felt heavier. now she's got a little more to put up a fight with about the pills, actually.
i rented a box truck and am moving from storage to my apartment tomorrow! that will be nice...i probably won't unpack, but i'll get it all loaded in, and the bed made, and then there'll be a place for the cat and me in the world besides here....
**NEW ADDRESS:**
Andrea Gross
16 East 25th Street #2
Minneapolis, MN 55404
seriously, can anyone help me with uploading pics? i'll post the ones from the season and the lake, and my new place once it's photo worthy, if i can just do it simply!
and finally, jacob left this afternoon for home, to go to st. louis and sign contracts on friday... the job is so good, and will allow us a certain amount of planning (the california new years is definitly on!!), and even the distance will be good when we adjust to it. . half the life i've had here isn't here now. we had a great weekend though...took our time with goodbyes to places and things, danced all night at "$10prom" last night. the summer's been solid for us, whatever it's been in other capacities....
at the moment i kind of feel like i have the bends, and that's all i want to say about it
the cat and i went back to the vet yesterday....an iv bag full of fluid (this time instead of settling across her shoulders in a lump waiting to be absorbeb, the lump was down one side, which made her equilibrium useless), and some valium. actually diazapam. essentially the cat's been in anxiety attack mode for two months, and now that she's had something for it, eating is not only something to do but something to talk about....and rub up against people about, and headbutt people about, and yeah. life's good. she staggers a little still, but her lips and ears are getting pinker. and she's crafty --she's eaten all the "old" purina kibble out of the bowl, and left most of the "new" good-for-her-liver kibble. alread this morning when i shot her pill down her throat (we're getting better at that), she felt heavier. now she's got a little more to put up a fight with about the pills, actually.
i rented a box truck and am moving from storage to my apartment tomorrow! that will be nice...i probably won't unpack, but i'll get it all loaded in, and the bed made, and then there'll be a place for the cat and me in the world besides here....
**NEW ADDRESS:**
Andrea Gross
16 East 25th Street #2
Minneapolis, MN 55404
seriously, can anyone help me with uploading pics? i'll post the ones from the season and the lake, and my new place once it's photo worthy, if i can just do it simply!
and finally, jacob left this afternoon for home, to go to st. louis and sign contracts on friday... the job is so good, and will allow us a certain amount of planning (the california new years is definitly on!!), and even the distance will be good when we adjust to it. . half the life i've had here isn't here now. we had a great weekend though...took our time with goodbyes to places and things, danced all night at "$10prom" last night. the summer's been solid for us, whatever it's been in other capacities....
at the moment i kind of feel like i have the bends, and that's all i want to say about it
Thursday, July 28, 2005
sad cat...
i had to pick the cat up in st.cloud on sunday. she'd been hiding out behind the tv all summer, and when one of the guys she's staying with finally saw her saturday they realized she really hadn't been eating that whole time either. she'd pee'd in their living room and in a bedroom, she was staggering from her weight loss.
i brought her back, she's upstairs in our cabin. she's been to the vet twice in three days, they've filled her with an IV of fluid, taken her temperature (normal, no sign of infection that way), given us a calorie paste that she wants no part of, shaved her and taken blood...and found something's not right with her liver. that was yesterday.
now she has pills, which she tricks me out of unless i use the pill shooter, and the pill shooter causes her to hiss at me, which makes me cry (actually, all of this makes me cry. a lot), and she's been throwing up and sitting in her litter box for about 18 hours. she has food that should make her liver stronger, but she won't eat it.
that's about all i can say right now... charlie brown opened tuesday and it's great, and it looks great. i can pick up my keys to the apartment on saturday, and hopefully start moving stuff in, but i don't know about being away from the cat that long... the weather's lovely. the lake is lovely. if that cat would just straighten up, it would all be fine.
i brought her back, she's upstairs in our cabin. she's been to the vet twice in three days, they've filled her with an IV of fluid, taken her temperature (normal, no sign of infection that way), given us a calorie paste that she wants no part of, shaved her and taken blood...and found something's not right with her liver. that was yesterday.
now she has pills, which she tricks me out of unless i use the pill shooter, and the pill shooter causes her to hiss at me, which makes me cry (actually, all of this makes me cry. a lot), and she's been throwing up and sitting in her litter box for about 18 hours. she has food that should make her liver stronger, but she won't eat it.
that's about all i can say right now... charlie brown opened tuesday and it's great, and it looks great. i can pick up my keys to the apartment on saturday, and hopefully start moving stuff in, but i don't know about being away from the cat that long... the weather's lovely. the lake is lovely. if that cat would just straighten up, it would all be fine.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
AN ADDRESS
i don't know it yet, but i found it!
i mean, i sort of know it...my application hasn't been officially approved (so i'll wait to post my new info), but i found an apartment in minneapolis on friday. first ave south and 25th, a few blocks from the college of art and design and a block or two east of nicollet.
it's a brownstone, originally designed to be larger flats, now broken up so that mine has the original kitchen --small apt gas stove and fridge, but a GAS stove, good counter space, excellent storage, and black and white linoleum floor.... large living room space that i can divide up into a work space and a play space, a good sized bedroom and a claw foot tub. (and as my lanny says: you know what sucks about a cast iron tub? precisely nothing!).... radiator heat (included in rent) in each room... not heavy on closet space, but at least enough floor space to have dressers and cabinets and so on.
going to visit my cat in st.cloud on thursday to tell her we have a home, where there are no other cats and where she will hopefully resume eating...she refuses to come out from behind the entertainment center at the apt she's staying in, and has lost a lot of weight...today i had an errand at the pet store and the kitties almost made me cry. i know she'll be ok, she is eating, but it's still hard. i hope she forgives me.
charlie brown is moving along beautifully. i love the way it looks, with painted stripes and polka dots all very cartoony. if i ever figure out how to post pics, there'll be a parade of them --lake life, production shots, so on...
hope you're all well, more soon.
i mean, i sort of know it...my application hasn't been officially approved (so i'll wait to post my new info), but i found an apartment in minneapolis on friday. first ave south and 25th, a few blocks from the college of art and design and a block or two east of nicollet.
it's a brownstone, originally designed to be larger flats, now broken up so that mine has the original kitchen --small apt gas stove and fridge, but a GAS stove, good counter space, excellent storage, and black and white linoleum floor.... large living room space that i can divide up into a work space and a play space, a good sized bedroom and a claw foot tub. (and as my lanny says: you know what sucks about a cast iron tub? precisely nothing!).... radiator heat (included in rent) in each room... not heavy on closet space, but at least enough floor space to have dressers and cabinets and so on.
going to visit my cat in st.cloud on thursday to tell her we have a home, where there are no other cats and where she will hopefully resume eating...she refuses to come out from behind the entertainment center at the apt she's staying in, and has lost a lot of weight...today i had an errand at the pet store and the kitties almost made me cry. i know she'll be ok, she is eating, but it's still hard. i hope she forgives me.
charlie brown is moving along beautifully. i love the way it looks, with painted stripes and polka dots all very cartoony. if i ever figure out how to post pics, there'll be a parade of them --lake life, production shots, so on...
hope you're all well, more soon.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
ho-oooooome!
("where my thoughts are keepin...")
i'll be home labor day weekend!
i'm coming in late on the 1st of september, i'll be there until the 6th... jodie's wedding is the 4th, and that's the reason i'll be back. it feels so good to know i'll be back before the year is up, i can't tell you.
on the here front, we opened the diary of anne frank last night. it's beautiful, i'm so proud of this one. it's really a relief given the way the first half of the season has gone.... i can't believe we're only here another four weeks. jacob has a job interview in st. louis next week, which will hopefully yield a great job with a school district in a nearby suburb as a sound a/v guy, with free lance design opportunities.
i, on the other hand, don't have any plans after the season is up on the 9th. i'm apartment hunting this weekend, hoping for an address to call my own. i'm surfing for jobs, holding my breath, starting to wonder about a day job. remember that time i swore i wouldn't do anything that wasn't design? heh.
so there's the latest....love to all, talk to you soon
i'll be home labor day weekend!
i'm coming in late on the 1st of september, i'll be there until the 6th... jodie's wedding is the 4th, and that's the reason i'll be back. it feels so good to know i'll be back before the year is up, i can't tell you.
on the here front, we opened the diary of anne frank last night. it's beautiful, i'm so proud of this one. it's really a relief given the way the first half of the season has gone.... i can't believe we're only here another four weeks. jacob has a job interview in st. louis next week, which will hopefully yield a great job with a school district in a nearby suburb as a sound a/v guy, with free lance design opportunities.
i, on the other hand, don't have any plans after the season is up on the 9th. i'm apartment hunting this weekend, hoping for an address to call my own. i'm surfing for jobs, holding my breath, starting to wonder about a day job. remember that time i swore i wouldn't do anything that wasn't design? heh.
so there's the latest....love to all, talk to you soon
Thursday, June 30, 2005
14 hours of sleep and a to do list
today was my first day off in 26.
of those 26, fewer than half a dozen were shorter than 12 hour work days.
of the same 26, more than a dozen (i'd guess) were 15 hour days....
yesterday, after four days of a four person crew working non stop on blue satin tailored jackets (and i mean tailored: horse hair canvas, pad stitching, roll lines, the whole enchilada); my crew and i learned what it feels like to have something cut between final dress and opening night ---the andrews sisters are wearing the red jackets from the previous production. i can't describe how sad erika and i were for our crew, or how loving and sad they were for us.
i left. i had to catch my breath. i drove 40 miles in two hours, down country roads and to lakes i'd never been to. i got stopped in a traffic jam while about thirty canada geese crossed the road (with one mallard at the rear). i went to the grocery store and bought hummus and chips for dinner. i kept driving.
i came back in time to take a brief nap before the show was over and the party started --i knew i couldn't go to the party, but i wanted to hang out with friends in other parts of the campus.... instead i slept for 14 hours.
now it's late, and i'm going to st. cloud tomorrow to pull for anne frank (and to go to the mall, i'm a little sense-deprived)...
but i wanted to let y'all know that i'm alive, and here's why: two nights ago i hung out with friends for the first time all summer at the end of the day. i've been working, sleeping, and getting up to do it again without even realizing the obvious reasons i'm sooo miserable. i hung out and had fun. then i came back to my room and used my fancy prismacolor markers to make the following to do list:
1. breathe
2. let go
3. be gracious
4. try
these are the only things i had to do yesterday, and on that count i think it was a fairly successful day inspite of being violently awful all around.
be in touch y'all.... hey, I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU! tonight i heard my first tornado!!! after three years in illinois, in the tornado belt or whatever, i saw the sky turn green and i heard "the distant rumble of a train"....it was our second tornado warning in two weeks (the first coming at second dress of hello dolly).... i was answering phones in the box office (yes, we're on, yes, we have power, drive safely, see you soon! yes, we're holding the house), making lobby announcements, helping the house manager tear tickets to fill the house faster, and finally pouring pitchers of ice water so that the cast would survive the show without a/c (which went out at the same time that 1/3 of the stage lights with a power outage....so we held the house while they checked and rigged each light cue).... very exciting.
also saw a bald eagle this week.... God is in the details.
of those 26, fewer than half a dozen were shorter than 12 hour work days.
of the same 26, more than a dozen (i'd guess) were 15 hour days....
yesterday, after four days of a four person crew working non stop on blue satin tailored jackets (and i mean tailored: horse hair canvas, pad stitching, roll lines, the whole enchilada); my crew and i learned what it feels like to have something cut between final dress and opening night ---the andrews sisters are wearing the red jackets from the previous production. i can't describe how sad erika and i were for our crew, or how loving and sad they were for us.
i left. i had to catch my breath. i drove 40 miles in two hours, down country roads and to lakes i'd never been to. i got stopped in a traffic jam while about thirty canada geese crossed the road (with one mallard at the rear). i went to the grocery store and bought hummus and chips for dinner. i kept driving.
i came back in time to take a brief nap before the show was over and the party started --i knew i couldn't go to the party, but i wanted to hang out with friends in other parts of the campus.... instead i slept for 14 hours.
now it's late, and i'm going to st. cloud tomorrow to pull for anne frank (and to go to the mall, i'm a little sense-deprived)...
but i wanted to let y'all know that i'm alive, and here's why: two nights ago i hung out with friends for the first time all summer at the end of the day. i've been working, sleeping, and getting up to do it again without even realizing the obvious reasons i'm sooo miserable. i hung out and had fun. then i came back to my room and used my fancy prismacolor markers to make the following to do list:
1. breathe
2. let go
3. be gracious
4. try
these are the only things i had to do yesterday, and on that count i think it was a fairly successful day inspite of being violently awful all around.
be in touch y'all.... hey, I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU! tonight i heard my first tornado!!! after three years in illinois, in the tornado belt or whatever, i saw the sky turn green and i heard "the distant rumble of a train"....it was our second tornado warning in two weeks (the first coming at second dress of hello dolly).... i was answering phones in the box office (yes, we're on, yes, we have power, drive safely, see you soon! yes, we're holding the house), making lobby announcements, helping the house manager tear tickets to fill the house faster, and finally pouring pitchers of ice water so that the cast would survive the show without a/c (which went out at the same time that 1/3 of the stage lights with a power outage....so we held the house while they checked and rigged each light cue).... very exciting.
also saw a bald eagle this week.... God is in the details.
Friday, June 10, 2005
on the 8th day there was internet
it's friday. i think. most of the week i've been a day ahead, and vastly relieved to find that i still have a day more than i think i do. right now it doesn't really matter, the feeling that we won't get it all done is so overwhelming i don't care what day it is.
HELLO DOLLY! opens tuesday. i've learned a lot, and am still learning...some of these lessons are good (you can do more than you think you can, you have the necessary skills to make up the ones you lack), and some of these lessons are...hard. i never want to design 4 shows in 10 weeks again. i can't believe i had to get here to realize how painful this would be. the worst part is, if i'm this tired now where will i be next week when we start the next one, or in three weeks for ANNE FRANK? it's horrifying.
the lake is beautiful. it hasn't been that cold. we've had two or three nights of the most amazing thunder storms i've ever experienced...long and loud, right on top of the house, you could almost feel the electricity in doors. the night before the big one, they had just put our dock into the lake (it's 3 feet wide and maybe 12 feet long, kind of like a board walk just above the water level) and lora and i sat on the dock as the storm blew in: not a sound or a smell except the wind and the water. i don't know how fast it was going but i wouldn't be surprised if it was 20 mph ...it was the feeling you get on the bow of a fast moving boat but no diesel smell or engine noise. or standing on a cliff in the wind, but the water was only 12" below where i was sitting. like being blown clean.
we had the first run through tonight, and it confirmed or answered more issues than it raised. which was basically to say that the list is still too long, but there were no huge surprises. i think that's all i have a right to expect right now.
be in touch, now the internet (and wireless! oh my!) is up and running. the cell works, but i'm running about 6-8 days behind on returning calls that aren't show related. i don't think it'll ever slow down, i'm not sure i'll have a day off all summer. not happy about that either...whatever.
peace
HELLO DOLLY! opens tuesday. i've learned a lot, and am still learning...some of these lessons are good (you can do more than you think you can, you have the necessary skills to make up the ones you lack), and some of these lessons are...hard. i never want to design 4 shows in 10 weeks again. i can't believe i had to get here to realize how painful this would be. the worst part is, if i'm this tired now where will i be next week when we start the next one, or in three weeks for ANNE FRANK? it's horrifying.
the lake is beautiful. it hasn't been that cold. we've had two or three nights of the most amazing thunder storms i've ever experienced...long and loud, right on top of the house, you could almost feel the electricity in doors. the night before the big one, they had just put our dock into the lake (it's 3 feet wide and maybe 12 feet long, kind of like a board walk just above the water level) and lora and i sat on the dock as the storm blew in: not a sound or a smell except the wind and the water. i don't know how fast it was going but i wouldn't be surprised if it was 20 mph ...it was the feeling you get on the bow of a fast moving boat but no diesel smell or engine noise. or standing on a cliff in the wind, but the water was only 12" below where i was sitting. like being blown clean.
we had the first run through tonight, and it confirmed or answered more issues than it raised. which was basically to say that the list is still too long, but there were no huge surprises. i think that's all i have a right to expect right now.
be in touch, now the internet (and wireless! oh my!) is up and running. the cell works, but i'm running about 6-8 days behind on returning calls that aren't show related. i don't think it'll ever slow down, i'm not sure i'll have a day off all summer. not happy about that either...whatever.
peace
Sunday, May 29, 2005
ok....go!
hey... so i'm not leaving until wednesday morning, but i think this will be my last post from the couch in the green living room on the second floor at 704 w.california. i've loved this apartment, and i'm starting to get a little sad about leaving it. i'm definitely sad about saying so many goodbyes.
next you'll hear about how good it is to be back in alexandria, how lovely the lake is, how strange the blue laws are, how freekin cold it is... if you want to reach me, i'll be checking the gmail account, and my cell phone works. the address is:
andrea gross
c/o theatre l'homme dieu
p.o. box 1086
alexandria, mn 56308
i'll be posting when i can, or when i have something to say. keep checking in on me, i can't wait to hear how all your summers are too! so be in touch! all that's left here are a few last dinners (siam terrace tonight, yum. mock duck. yum.) and the last two or three boxes. i don't care that it's the hole punch and the bathmat in the same box. if there are only two or three boxes like that, it's better than the last few times i've moved. i still have to find a place to dump my rug, and a lot of kitchen stuff that will go to friends.
alright.... see you in the next state. peace
next you'll hear about how good it is to be back in alexandria, how lovely the lake is, how strange the blue laws are, how freekin cold it is... if you want to reach me, i'll be checking the gmail account, and my cell phone works. the address is:
andrea gross
c/o theatre l'homme dieu
p.o. box 1086
alexandria, mn 56308
i'll be posting when i can, or when i have something to say. keep checking in on me, i can't wait to hear how all your summers are too! so be in touch! all that's left here are a few last dinners (siam terrace tonight, yum. mock duck. yum.) and the last two or three boxes. i don't care that it's the hole punch and the bathmat in the same box. if there are only two or three boxes like that, it's better than the last few times i've moved. i still have to find a place to dump my rug, and a lot of kitchen stuff that will go to friends.
alright.... see you in the next state. peace
Thursday, May 26, 2005
stuck
i only have a few minutes before todd comes over, we're going to a korean restaraunt he's been talking aout the whole time i've lived here...the goodbyes continue.
i'm stuck. i've arrived at the part of packing to move where i just want to throw away everything i haven't packed yet...which can only mean that the next phase is the part where you throw the drinking glasses and the stapler into the same box because you just don't care. great, i hate that phase even more than sitting here staring at my stuff wishing it would just pack itself or go away.
so far so good in the sense that everything is in a manageable sized box and with like objects. some boxes are inventoried for easier access when unpacking from the storage unit in august (into an apartment that does not yet exist)...i just don't want to continue, and in spite of the fact that i have been working at a reasonable pace for days, everytime i look around the apartment i swear i'm not even half finished. it's exhausting to do and worse to think about.
SIDENOTE (the news is on in the background) does anyone else think the irony is HYSTERICAL that viagra and blindness are being linked??????
so, it's a matter of days (i pick up the uhaul truck on tuesday morning) until i leave. i'm not completely packed, i have to spend saturday shopping for fabric in chicago for the summer season, and i'm not sure how i'm going to get the car up to minnesota with me (there was a plan, it fell through...there are other plans on the radar, but unfulfilled as of yet, and too many factors to describe). i feel like the next week of my life is going to take an awful lot out of me before it's done, but much like many of the weeks i've been here, i just keep plugging along and hope for the best....
peace.
i'm stuck. i've arrived at the part of packing to move where i just want to throw away everything i haven't packed yet...which can only mean that the next phase is the part where you throw the drinking glasses and the stapler into the same box because you just don't care. great, i hate that phase even more than sitting here staring at my stuff wishing it would just pack itself or go away.
so far so good in the sense that everything is in a manageable sized box and with like objects. some boxes are inventoried for easier access when unpacking from the storage unit in august (into an apartment that does not yet exist)...i just don't want to continue, and in spite of the fact that i have been working at a reasonable pace for days, everytime i look around the apartment i swear i'm not even half finished. it's exhausting to do and worse to think about.
SIDENOTE (the news is on in the background) does anyone else think the irony is HYSTERICAL that viagra and blindness are being linked??????
so, it's a matter of days (i pick up the uhaul truck on tuesday morning) until i leave. i'm not completely packed, i have to spend saturday shopping for fabric in chicago for the summer season, and i'm not sure how i'm going to get the car up to minnesota with me (there was a plan, it fell through...there are other plans on the radar, but unfulfilled as of yet, and too many factors to describe). i feel like the next week of my life is going to take an awful lot out of me before it's done, but much like many of the weeks i've been here, i just keep plugging along and hope for the best....
peace.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
pomp and stuff
well it's amazing how a thing can just be done.
a robe, a hood, a stage to cross, and a thing to be done.
my mom came thursday, and win came on saturday morning... it was so nice to have visitors, and especially to be able to show this place off a little, to have people here at a time when i'm happy and not stressed and hateful. my mom and i went to cafe paradiso, and artmart..and mirabelle, the bakery. it was nice. she's been here three times, but always in movember and march, so she'd never seen the neighborhood in green. it is beautiful...
on sunday graduation was at 10...by the time i got there i was over the shoes, but what are you going to do... the ceremony was short and sweet, which was nice, and we took a lot of pictures after wards. then we packed a picnic and went out to allerton, which is an estate turned park about twenty minutes away. the weather wasn't great, but it was alright. mama and i got carried away as always, and jacob, todd, mati, and matt came along for the ridiculousness....prosciutto and melon, potato salad, mimosas...red wine. life's good. we walked through the park after lunch, saw the peony garden and discovered the accoustic secrets of the sunken garden. took a mass nap in the grass in the foo dog garden. definitely a good day...
mama left this morning, we've done some packing and some visiting. we went to springfield yesterday to the frank lloyd wright house, and the lincoln museum. that was fun... even the packing was alright. the place looks a little strange, partly packed. but there's lots left to do and a lot of the details of the whole move that i'm still trying to iron out...
i'm picking up a uhaul on the 31st and leave town on the 1st.....lots and lots to do
a robe, a hood, a stage to cross, and a thing to be done.
my mom came thursday, and win came on saturday morning... it was so nice to have visitors, and especially to be able to show this place off a little, to have people here at a time when i'm happy and not stressed and hateful. my mom and i went to cafe paradiso, and artmart..and mirabelle, the bakery. it was nice. she's been here three times, but always in movember and march, so she'd never seen the neighborhood in green. it is beautiful...
on sunday graduation was at 10...by the time i got there i was over the shoes, but what are you going to do... the ceremony was short and sweet, which was nice, and we took a lot of pictures after wards. then we packed a picnic and went out to allerton, which is an estate turned park about twenty minutes away. the weather wasn't great, but it was alright. mama and i got carried away as always, and jacob, todd, mati, and matt came along for the ridiculousness....prosciutto and melon, potato salad, mimosas...red wine. life's good. we walked through the park after lunch, saw the peony garden and discovered the accoustic secrets of the sunken garden. took a mass nap in the grass in the foo dog garden. definitely a good day...
mama left this morning, we've done some packing and some visiting. we went to springfield yesterday to the frank lloyd wright house, and the lincoln museum. that was fun... even the packing was alright. the place looks a little strange, partly packed. but there's lots left to do and a lot of the details of the whole move that i'm still trying to iron out...
i'm picking up a uhaul on the 31st and leave town on the 1st.....lots and lots to do
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
psst... wait, psst, did you hear that????
*THAT* MY FRIENDS, WAS...
THE SOUND OF THE 5/8" BINDER SNAPPING SHUT FOR THE LAST TIME.
THE SOUND OF THE LITTLE PRINTER THAT COULD FORCING OUT THE FINAL PAGE, A LABEL FOR THE SPINE OF SAID BINDER.
THE SOUND OF THE LITTLE PAPER CUTTER THAT CONQUERED THE WORLD SLIDING ITS FINAL SLICES.
shhhh... did you hear that?
*THAT* WAS THE SOUND OF ME FINISHING MY THESIS!
(also the sound of me rolling around on my floor giggling with unfettered glee...except that there is no room on my floor.)
will i check it one more time? probably not...afterall, it's the written thesis for a show that closed in november. it's the thing i've been "finishing" ever since. it's finished. that means done. other people read it, i can't look at it again.
and all along, through thick and thin, the theme has been:
THIS THESIS BROUGHT TO YOU BY DJ SPREE, COLDPLAY, THE NUMBER 1.75, AND THE LETTERS J, M, and YOU.
thanks to my parents for teaching me the way, and my friends for lighting it from all distances...eternal gratitude all around. NOW LET'S GO OUT AND PLAY!!!
it's 1:30 in the morning. i haven't made sense for the duration of most of the friendships that read this post, but i'm pretty damn sure i'm about to cease with the sense making for the remainder.... tomorrow i finish my independent study, and then i think i'll be drunk, cleaning my house drunk, for at least three days. i love you, good night.
pee ess: 1.75 is the amount of money required to purchase a tasty pint of lienenkugel's beer at the iron post. now you know.
THE SOUND OF THE 5/8" BINDER SNAPPING SHUT FOR THE LAST TIME.
THE SOUND OF THE LITTLE PRINTER THAT COULD FORCING OUT THE FINAL PAGE, A LABEL FOR THE SPINE OF SAID BINDER.
THE SOUND OF THE LITTLE PAPER CUTTER THAT CONQUERED THE WORLD SLIDING ITS FINAL SLICES.
shhhh... did you hear that?
*THAT* WAS THE SOUND OF ME FINISHING MY THESIS!
(also the sound of me rolling around on my floor giggling with unfettered glee...except that there is no room on my floor.)
will i check it one more time? probably not...afterall, it's the written thesis for a show that closed in november. it's the thing i've been "finishing" ever since. it's finished. that means done. other people read it, i can't look at it again.
and all along, through thick and thin, the theme has been:
THIS THESIS BROUGHT TO YOU BY DJ SPREE, COLDPLAY, THE NUMBER 1.75, AND THE LETTERS J, M, and YOU.
thanks to my parents for teaching me the way, and my friends for lighting it from all distances...eternal gratitude all around. NOW LET'S GO OUT AND PLAY!!!
it's 1:30 in the morning. i haven't made sense for the duration of most of the friendships that read this post, but i'm pretty damn sure i'm about to cease with the sense making for the remainder.... tomorrow i finish my independent study, and then i think i'll be drunk, cleaning my house drunk, for at least three days. i love you, good night.
pee ess: 1.75 is the amount of money required to purchase a tasty pint of lienenkugel's beer at the iron post. now you know.
Monday, May 02, 2005
oof. da.
yep. that's how it goes... i got some practice this weekend, in minnesooota.
drove up to minneapolis, spent the weekend at lora's (much love for the hospitality and the mileage to both you and matt), checked out a couple apartments, drank with the hommies (much love for the giggles and the hugs, but 9 dollars for a pint and a shot? i don't know if i'm cool enough for uptown...i've been in smallsville too long), met with directors for the summer (just now heard from the fink putz, to those of you to whom that means something, he referred to *both* shows, which i fear means ill tidings for charlie brown and all his pals... yuk). it was a great weekend. solid. oh, wait! except for that one time that it SNOWED on the first of may!!! what am i doing? this is nuts. who moves to a place where it snows in may???
i'm workin away. last day of classes is wednesday. plenty to do before then...eh.
i'm not sure how else i'm feeling. like the end is near and it brings too many things to deal with. head in sand sounds ideal, but i know from experience it just results in a stiff neck and small silicone granuales in your sinuses. none too comfortable really... i feel like i had a lot more to say, but i don't know. call me. maybe it happens in person. or maybe i won't answer because i'm up to my neck in work. the end of semester list is beginning though --in a couple days i can clean my apartment, i can get a haircut, i can do laundry, i can go to the grocery store, i can remember whether to stand or sit. i know it doesn't apply as a girl, but it is the best description of grad school EVER: jess raynes, an acting mfa, in response to how grad school was going, once told me: "man, it's a lot. i mean, i'm storing shakespeare monologues in my short term memory and anywhere i can stick it and i'm accessing my long term term memory just to figure out whether to stand or sit when i'm in the can..." ok, that might not have been his exact words, but it was brilliant. also BRILLIANT, director peter moore's description of hello dolly! for me: "yeah, it's eye candy, but this isn't a whitman's sampler, it's more like godiva".... best concept statement EVER. i should get back to work, since whatever profoundness i thought i held has clearly leaked out my ear.... wheeeee.
drove up to minneapolis, spent the weekend at lora's (much love for the hospitality and the mileage to both you and matt), checked out a couple apartments, drank with the hommies (much love for the giggles and the hugs, but 9 dollars for a pint and a shot? i don't know if i'm cool enough for uptown...i've been in smallsville too long), met with directors for the summer (just now heard from the fink putz, to those of you to whom that means something, he referred to *both* shows, which i fear means ill tidings for charlie brown and all his pals... yuk). it was a great weekend. solid. oh, wait! except for that one time that it SNOWED on the first of may!!! what am i doing? this is nuts. who moves to a place where it snows in may???
i'm workin away. last day of classes is wednesday. plenty to do before then...eh.
i'm not sure how else i'm feeling. like the end is near and it brings too many things to deal with. head in sand sounds ideal, but i know from experience it just results in a stiff neck and small silicone granuales in your sinuses. none too comfortable really... i feel like i had a lot more to say, but i don't know. call me. maybe it happens in person. or maybe i won't answer because i'm up to my neck in work. the end of semester list is beginning though --in a couple days i can clean my apartment, i can get a haircut, i can do laundry, i can go to the grocery store, i can remember whether to stand or sit. i know it doesn't apply as a girl, but it is the best description of grad school EVER: jess raynes, an acting mfa, in response to how grad school was going, once told me: "man, it's a lot. i mean, i'm storing shakespeare monologues in my short term memory and anywhere i can stick it and i'm accessing my long term term memory just to figure out whether to stand or sit when i'm in the can..." ok, that might not have been his exact words, but it was brilliant. also BRILLIANT, director peter moore's description of hello dolly! for me: "yeah, it's eye candy, but this isn't a whitman's sampler, it's more like godiva".... best concept statement EVER. i should get back to work, since whatever profoundness i thought i held has clearly leaked out my ear.... wheeeee.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
the cat hates it
and frankly so do i.
there is no clear space anywhere in my living room, as the supplies for a 1/4" model have taken over the universe. how could something so small be such an enormous pain in the ass? today in class my friend tesia said: makes you wish for 1/8" fingers. the cat's so pissed at the lack of lounge space she doesn't even seem to want to smell things. this is disturbing.
this week's a little overwhelming. it's causing me to make a noise i don't know how to spell. that's unusual. peace out, off to edit said thesis and go to bed. tomorrow, more of the same...and on and on until it's done.
there is no clear space anywhere in my living room, as the supplies for a 1/4" model have taken over the universe. how could something so small be such an enormous pain in the ass? today in class my friend tesia said: makes you wish for 1/8" fingers. the cat's so pissed at the lack of lounge space she doesn't even seem to want to smell things. this is disturbing.
this week's a little overwhelming. it's causing me to make a noise i don't know how to spell. that's unusual. peace out, off to edit said thesis and go to bed. tomorrow, more of the same...and on and on until it's done.
Monday, April 25, 2005
postcards from the middle
or, delusions of an audience...
it would seem that the idea of having an instantly publishable forum for my ramblings is an attractive one. who knew? i know, you did.
driving up from edwardsville this morning was interesting...maybe it's the idea that someone will read these thoughts, or the nostalgic elements of having a finite amount of time left in a space. or this theme of the return of saturn that's been running around in the background for a while... but there seemed a lot more to notice. am finally forced to admit that i grew up in a place without the ritual of seasons (we have them, i still maintain, but they definitely don't hold the power they do here --if you didn't get this rant in person, last week it was 80 for three days and then on saturday it could have SNOWED)...one of the things a true spring will teach you is the depth and variation of the color green. at first it makes you do a double take, it's not real it's so fresh. resurrection green. eventually it deepens and mellows --down south it's been a little warmer, you can really tell in just a 170 mile trip. here it's still somewhere in the middle.
i stopped in effingham, at three separate truck stops and couldn't find a single postcard of the giant cross. for a moment i thought i really HAD made it up, but check it out: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/ ...you can search for giant cross, and you can also check out the world's biggest catsup bottle in collinsville, illinois, about 15 minutes from jacob's. i never get tired of taking that route to run errands, it's just too much fun. as i rolled back into town i passed another sight i can't believe i've never told you about and i couldn't make up if i tried: prairie state pig insemenation. awesome.
also along the road past red barns with tin roofs and not-quite-driftwood colored ones collapsing in on themselves (o! to live in a place where things are allowed to fall down and aren't instantly bulldozed to become mulit-family housing!) came some musings about gratitude (again with the leaving here soon theme)... to my midwestern friends who get happy about tunnels, and teach me how grain silos are filled and what combines are (and laugh because i can't remember the answer well enough to tell anyone else what a combine is)... what the hell are those things with the gynormous tires???? they were everywhere today. to midwestern friends who've taught me to appreciate trains and never cease to find it amusing because i still want to count the cars the way mama and i used to, even when the train stretches on out of sight. to my midwestern friends who've taught me that the phrase "smells like rain" isn't as all inclusive as it might sound. and that the answer to "what's that smell?!" is "southland farms" (frequently the main body of campus is downwind from the ag dept...never knew there were so many different cow shit smells)...
and now i'm back in urbana, sitting outside at cafe paradiso eating pasta salad after a wholly unsuccessful research trip to the 3rd largets university library in the country. really. all the good it does me to attend the university with the 3rd largest research library in the country is that it affords me the opportunity to be that much more indignant when i can't find whatever i'm looking for.
right. i should finish my food and go home to pet the cat, since i probably won't have time to again all week. the paper thesis announced finished in my last post really requires some heavy editing, and the rest of it's not quite as marvelously close to done as i'd hoped. it's due the last week of classes (which would be next week, what the F?), but i'm determined to turn it in before i leave for minneapolis on friday. on principal. haven't done a thing before the last minute all three years, think i'll make a big splashy statement. also have a final project due thursday that's in reasonable shape but by no means assembled. it would seem that the period of stupor after the scottish play closed is over. BACK ON THE PONY! yipe.
it would seem that the idea of having an instantly publishable forum for my ramblings is an attractive one. who knew? i know, you did.
driving up from edwardsville this morning was interesting...maybe it's the idea that someone will read these thoughts, or the nostalgic elements of having a finite amount of time left in a space. or this theme of the return of saturn that's been running around in the background for a while... but there seemed a lot more to notice. am finally forced to admit that i grew up in a place without the ritual of seasons (we have them, i still maintain, but they definitely don't hold the power they do here --if you didn't get this rant in person, last week it was 80 for three days and then on saturday it could have SNOWED)...one of the things a true spring will teach you is the depth and variation of the color green. at first it makes you do a double take, it's not real it's so fresh. resurrection green. eventually it deepens and mellows --down south it's been a little warmer, you can really tell in just a 170 mile trip. here it's still somewhere in the middle.
i stopped in effingham, at three separate truck stops and couldn't find a single postcard of the giant cross. for a moment i thought i really HAD made it up, but check it out: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/ ...you can search for giant cross, and you can also check out the world's biggest catsup bottle in collinsville, illinois, about 15 minutes from jacob's. i never get tired of taking that route to run errands, it's just too much fun. as i rolled back into town i passed another sight i can't believe i've never told you about and i couldn't make up if i tried: prairie state pig insemenation. awesome.
also along the road past red barns with tin roofs and not-quite-driftwood colored ones collapsing in on themselves (o! to live in a place where things are allowed to fall down and aren't instantly bulldozed to become mulit-family housing!) came some musings about gratitude (again with the leaving here soon theme)... to my midwestern friends who get happy about tunnels, and teach me how grain silos are filled and what combines are (and laugh because i can't remember the answer well enough to tell anyone else what a combine is)... what the hell are those things with the gynormous tires???? they were everywhere today. to midwestern friends who've taught me to appreciate trains and never cease to find it amusing because i still want to count the cars the way mama and i used to, even when the train stretches on out of sight. to my midwestern friends who've taught me that the phrase "smells like rain" isn't as all inclusive as it might sound. and that the answer to "what's that smell?!" is "southland farms" (frequently the main body of campus is downwind from the ag dept...never knew there were so many different cow shit smells)...
and now i'm back in urbana, sitting outside at cafe paradiso eating pasta salad after a wholly unsuccessful research trip to the 3rd largets university library in the country. really. all the good it does me to attend the university with the 3rd largest research library in the country is that it affords me the opportunity to be that much more indignant when i can't find whatever i'm looking for.
right. i should finish my food and go home to pet the cat, since i probably won't have time to again all week. the paper thesis announced finished in my last post really requires some heavy editing, and the rest of it's not quite as marvelously close to done as i'd hoped. it's due the last week of classes (which would be next week, what the F?), but i'm determined to turn it in before i leave for minneapolis on friday. on principal. haven't done a thing before the last minute all three years, think i'll make a big splashy statement. also have a final project due thursday that's in reasonable shape but by no means assembled. it would seem that the period of stupor after the scottish play closed is over. BACK ON THE PONY! yipe.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
heh.
it worked... the phone rang twice this morning unexpectedly. sweet...
think i'm done writing my thesis, as of this morning. for something i've been ducking, dodging and avoiding as best i can, it finished up pretty easily. passing it off to friends to edit and comment on this week. now trying not to count minutes until i can leave here.... how are you?
think i'm done writing my thesis, as of this morning. for something i've been ducking, dodging and avoiding as best i can, it finished up pretty easily. passing it off to friends to edit and comment on this week. now trying not to count minutes until i can leave here.... how are you?
um....
if you think it's funny that i have a blog, you're right.
what will you find here? what will this mean? i do not know. probably nothing. i'll probably forget all about it next week... but i'm getting to a point in life where everything's on the cusp, nothing will be the same in the blink of an eye, and i'm at a loss for thoughts on the matter for the most part.
grad school is ending. can this be possible? how have i lived in illinois for three years? how have i been so far removed from my college friends for so long? how have i been blessed to make so many friends here and through here?
i've learned a lot...boy howdie have i. but now what? will i apply it? forget it? determine that it has no bearing on an actual career? who knows....it's a vaguely squishy feeling, not knowing what's next. remember when you graduated from college? yeah, except now you've got a skill set you're supposed to be able to DO something with, and you're closer to 30 (HOW does that matter? when did i and my friends become old enough to even CARE about thirty?), and you're in a state you never thought you'd live in, moving in a direction that is definitely not the homeward bound one you imagined... it's squishy, that's all there is to it.
so here's what is happening...i'm going to edwardsville this weekend to see jacob's final design project show. then next weekend i'm going to minneapolis to neighborhood shop and meet with directors for the summer season. then it's jacob's graduation and then my mom comes (3 weeks from yesterday) for a week and my graduation. then i pack my apartment into a uhaul (which i reserved last week, perhaps bringing on the specificity of squishy), and driving it to a storage space outside minneapolis (also reserved last week), and heading up to alexandria minnesota, to theatre l'homme dieu (lahommadoo to those of you who don't speak minnesotan), to be the resident costume designer for Hello Dolly! (yes, you can smirk), Sisters of Swing, The Diary of Anne Frank, and You're a Good Man Charlie Brown... it's the place i worked last summer, a place that makes me incredibly happy. a place with a lake. a place that is a belly rub for the soul.
and then. i'm moving to minneapolis to free lance costume design. these are sometimes the scariest nine words in the english language. sometimes, not so scary...sometimes totally natural.
so that's what next... who knows how this thing will work out, but hopefully it will put me in closer touch with people i love and miss... peace out.
what will you find here? what will this mean? i do not know. probably nothing. i'll probably forget all about it next week... but i'm getting to a point in life where everything's on the cusp, nothing will be the same in the blink of an eye, and i'm at a loss for thoughts on the matter for the most part.
grad school is ending. can this be possible? how have i lived in illinois for three years? how have i been so far removed from my college friends for so long? how have i been blessed to make so many friends here and through here?
i've learned a lot...boy howdie have i. but now what? will i apply it? forget it? determine that it has no bearing on an actual career? who knows....it's a vaguely squishy feeling, not knowing what's next. remember when you graduated from college? yeah, except now you've got a skill set you're supposed to be able to DO something with, and you're closer to 30 (HOW does that matter? when did i and my friends become old enough to even CARE about thirty?), and you're in a state you never thought you'd live in, moving in a direction that is definitely not the homeward bound one you imagined... it's squishy, that's all there is to it.
so here's what is happening...i'm going to edwardsville this weekend to see jacob's final design project show. then next weekend i'm going to minneapolis to neighborhood shop and meet with directors for the summer season. then it's jacob's graduation and then my mom comes (3 weeks from yesterday) for a week and my graduation. then i pack my apartment into a uhaul (which i reserved last week, perhaps bringing on the specificity of squishy), and driving it to a storage space outside minneapolis (also reserved last week), and heading up to alexandria minnesota, to theatre l'homme dieu (lahommadoo to those of you who don't speak minnesotan), to be the resident costume designer for Hello Dolly! (yes, you can smirk), Sisters of Swing, The Diary of Anne Frank, and You're a Good Man Charlie Brown... it's the place i worked last summer, a place that makes me incredibly happy. a place with a lake. a place that is a belly rub for the soul.
and then. i'm moving to minneapolis to free lance costume design. these are sometimes the scariest nine words in the english language. sometimes, not so scary...sometimes totally natural.
so that's what next... who knows how this thing will work out, but hopefully it will put me in closer touch with people i love and miss... peace out.
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